Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Best Word I Ever Made Up

I have a dream. A simple dream, to get one of the words I've made up, into the dictionary. It doesn't have to be Merriam Webster's at first. I'd settle for the rinky-dink paperback dictionary that has the Loony Toons and fake denim on the cover (I had one of those, don't ask me from where.) I feel like I've made up my share of words over time; some of these words I can't stake a complete claim to. I'm sure others have uttered the word "fantastabulous" before.

But there is one word that sticks out in my mind as the best, and most well thought out, word that I've ever come up with. I can't take all the credit. This was a brainchild of my friend, Kyle and me, one all-nighter in college, while studying for an Ancient Languages and Decipherments class.

The word, ladies and gentlemen, is wistasp.

....it was probably around 1 or 2AM when we were tackling the topic of a Persian noble, Hystaspes. I have tried doing a little Sunday evening research into the Hystaspes we came to know and love that night, but I can't seem to find the story that I remember reading that night. This Hystaspes (who may or may not be the father of Persian King Darius I, from around 550 B.C.), was said to have led a prosperous area for many unproductive years, where he actually let the building on his cities stop and the cities actually declined in his time. As an unsuccessful ruler, but prominent man, he was allowed to finish out his reign, but somehow, later in his life, he took a walk into the desert...and was never heard from again. He disappeared.

Now in life, apparently, this man was not very effective. But even in death, he simply...walked off. There was no purpose, no point to either his life or death, it seemed, even in our coursework. We had no idea why we were learning about this very ineffective ruler, other than to put chronology of the time period in place.

Kyle and I first took a liking to his name because it was fun to say. It kind of sounded like the word NASTY. But then, the more we said it, the more we changed it. And thus was born, "wistasp," and it's adjective brother "wistaspic." We quickly decided that these words must reflect all that was useless about Hystaspes himself. So therefore wistasp means "waste of space, air, resources, human flesh, etc." It can be anything or anyone that is taking up more space than they're worth. Wistaspic, of course, describing something or someone which is such.

A chair centrally located amidst a dance floor - wistaspic.
That guy who no one's really sure what he does at work, yet he gets paid - a wistasp.
A computer that died years ago, but has lived under your desk for years since it's just too much work to get rid of it - BIG TIME wistasp.
The girl who doesn't want to break her nails during tug of war - wistapic, all the way.

I've filled many people in about the meaning and creation of the word wistasp over the years. I'm not sure how to get the word out, other than to keep telling people. Perhaps you have some ideas or connections. Help a simple dream come true. Where should wistasp go next?