Project Mission: Day Twenty-Seven

Well, it has been said before. I am often unable to fully commit to projects I throw myself into. I usually finish things, but it often takes a few days. Or weeks. Or sometimes, a hiatus of years (I speak of a particular mission to grow my hair to my waist.)

Looking back to days 1 and 3, I was looking to achieve a more relaxed balance for life. I think in many respects, this has gone well. I am more comfortable leaving the office at 5 even if every single thing hasn't been taken care of. This may sound like poor work ethic, but I will say this much- working 13-15 hours a day for multiple days in a row keeps stress at a very high level and makes for a poor Amanda ethic.

In a more personal sense, I have refound that feeling that I've had before...that I don't need to prove my worth to any person, place or ideal on this earth. I often get wrapped up in new people or new situations or commitments that become "be all, end all" for a hot minute and I forget that I am perfectly fulfilled without those anxieties. Balancing a social life and a professional life has also become slightly easier or messier, which ever way you view it since the arrival of
this little buddy.

On the eve of my running out of cell phone minutes for this guy,

I realized that I had another resource. I am not a heavy cell phone user as it is. I don't chit chat, really. Simple necessaries, I call it, though I lived many years without having the ability to communicate these "necessaries" on the road...and I survived. As demonstrated in July, I can live without a cell phone just fine. But I feel taking small advantage of my resources to keep life organized is a smart choice.

I have also resigned myself to the fact that I do need money for food every week. Sounds like something the obvious girl could have told me, but gosh, in the tizzy of getting every bill paid every month, I often forget. I forget that food doesn't extend to the backs of the cupboards and that I will often walk into the office kitchen, seeking what combination of leftovers and gift basket condiments could possibly be a meal today.

So pulling it all together, I have worked hard to put the correct pieces on each side of the scale, and though it's still wobbling and things fall off and get placed back on, we are somewhat balanced today, these days, and hopefully, in the days to come.

So the mission for day 27 and beyond...to be more graceful in all things. This will have to be a continuation of the original combination of relaxed balance, but incorporating a more steady heart and mind and applying beauty to the whole damn thing. That will be the mission. Graceful balance. Like walking with an unabridged dictionary on my head in 5 inch stilettos in Shelton Hall in 2004, I will probably tip over and crash into people. And I will probably resort to sitting on the ground and eating olives and laughing hysterically. But if not for trying to grow, we would all stay small and unremarkable. Here we go, here we go, here we go again. Here we go again.