The Day the Internet Died. Part 1.

I want to pose a question to the universe.

What will, what would, what could we do...on the day the internet collapses? The whole thing. Down in one shot. Everyone would call their provider or unplug and plug again. Everyone would grab their cell phone to check google to see what Comcast was saying. There would be no google. Who would they call? Who would I call? I think my day would go something like...this...

Wake up. Stretch a little bit, wriggle around and debate staying home from work. Realize I left something vital at the office (on paper, probably) and couldn't ideally telecommute today, so I get out of bed. Trip over a cat or two and stumble to the pink morning light-glowy bathroom. Weigh myself.

"Nicely done. .5 pounds. I'll have to update RealAge later."

Brush my teeth, maybe utilize a little strategic astringent. SPF-i-size. Take a little stroll up the catwalk to get dressed in the artificial arctic of my room. Pick out...

[well, would it be a Comcast day or a non-Comcast day? Let's say Comcast day, for sake of looking fancy. And being in the room with my client on the day of No Internet.]

...a fluttery skirt, some sandals and a top that somehow makes sense. My fashion has no rhyme. Only color. Descend the stairs, where Jess is on the phone with Comcast Customer Service and gives me giant rolling eyes. It's probably about 6:33. OK, let's be real. 6:55. I shrug off the fact I cannot facebook or tweet or look at the weather or do 3 minutes of work, but pack my charged up laptop up anyway. I've actually somehow saved time, not wasted it.

I walk to the train, listening to my ipod, filled with music I bought legally from itunes. I spend the train ride putting on make up and reading Vanity Fair. I make a mental note to look up, say, Francis Bacon when I get to work.

I walk up the great big Comcast stairs, into the belly of the center- the 4 story high lobby. I look up where the great LCD, the Comcast experience usually is.

And I need to back track here. I may not use the internet much before work. But the world does.

I am unclear on the scale and depth of the chaos that would have occurred from the down time to the time I wake, depending on how long that is...but I have to say, I kind of got self involved there. Street lights and traffic grids and power and water and trains and lights and the people of the world might be lost and confused and giving up on the day already. But I digress. Let's say they're not. Let's say it started at my house and moved outward as I traveled to the city...

To be continued.