I was in the shower last night and realized that I'm not very interesting. Yes, I can carry on interesting conversations with people, and talk about things that are beyond my daily routine, but for the most part, the things that are on my mind are my own concerns: my money, my health and body, my relationships and my job. And outside of that, what do I have?
Well, let's see. I like to read. I like music. I like going to concerts and downloading new singers and musicians, but I don't make music anymore. I like art and finding new artists, but I'm not particularly knowledgeable about any of them, nor do I make it a point to seek out art in my day to day life. I even stopped going to sketch class on Mondays and Wednesdays. I like cooking and dining out, but I don't think I know enough about gourmet food to be considered a true "foodie". And I love wine, but I'm definitely not up to speed enough about wines to be considered an expert on that. I enjoy political discussions, but I'm not informed enough. I love traveling, but I don't make or save enough money to do it regularly.
I guess what I'm saying is that I like a lot of things, but I don't think I'm particularly great at any one thing or pursue anything with abandon enough to say that I have a passion. So that most of the time, my brain is not consumed with any deep amazing thoughts that keep me in a state of thinking and thinking, I'm mostly pondering what I should do about my credit card debt and how I shouldn't have bought those concert tickets yesterday, even though it's going to be an amazing time.
I don't know if this means I should pick something to be passionate about and pursue it, or if I'm ok leading a life without that kind of fire for say ART! Or WINE! Cause I'm an ART PERSON! OR A WINE PERSON! Also, with all of my time spent seeing friends, running errands, going to the gym and working, I don't know when I would find extra time to put into something that I'm assuming would take a lot of extra time.
My dear friend Kaela volunteers as the Executive Director now (she has risen high in the ranks) of the Boho Theater Company in Chicago and spends many hours every week meeting, planning, coordinating, attending rehearsals or auditions and anything else that needs to be done. She does this in addition to her day job AND her school work (she is getting her masters degree currently). I cannot fathom how she finds the time for everything and still has time for herself.
I was actually thinking of applying to get a masters degree myself last year, before I made the decision to pursue writing at my company. I knew it would be a lot of work, and I vowed that I would still find time for all the things I loved. But to be honest, I don't know if I could have done it and still kept up with everything I want to do. At this point in my life, I am happy supplementing my knowledge and degree with conferences, meetup groups, articles and books: things that are manageable in pieces and do not span months or years of my life.
But this brings me back to the place where I still worry that I am not interesting enough. That I am not passionate enough about any one thing to be a person with passion. Does it count to be passionately in love with one's partner? Does being in love make you interesting? I'm thinking the world of single people thinks it does not. And I think it makes people glad that you're in a relationship that makes you happy, but they don't wish to see you more because of it. They don't say "Oh Amanda was cool before, but ever since she got that boyfriend, she's been AWESOME to hang out with!"
I guess to broaden that concept a bit more, I could simply be passionate about my relationships. I think that's what it's all about anyway. That's what I could dwell on in the dark of night: how to strengthen my relationships with my friends, my family, my boyfriend, my coworkers. That's something that's important to me. And whether or not that makes me interesting, I guess will just have to be determined later. I could take all of my little interests and infuse them into my relationships in little ways thereby making them bigger by the communities of which they're a part. And that doesn't sound half bad.
Showing posts with label art. Show all posts
Showing posts with label art. Show all posts
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Monday, April 9, 2012
What Do I Like?
That is the question I've chosen to tackle today, from my list of questions I copied in on April 5th. I've noticed, before I dive in, that I have a hard time dedicating myself to writing on the weekends. When I'm at work, or at home on weeknights, I can easily dedicate myself to write for 10 or 15 minutes, but the weekend is a little tougher. I also know I have a tough time making time to exercise on the weekends, even if that just means doing some squats, sit ups and push ups. If I'm able to dedicate 30-45 minutes to myself on Saturday and Sunday, I can get in both a good amount of writing and a little exercise. I just need to figure out if that's going to be when Dylan is sleeping, showering, or when we're having TV time. When we're watching TV, we're usually watching something that I want to keep up with or I'm into, so I've got to take time away when he puts on something I'm not too involved in. Just something to think about if I want to one day finish a whole month of 750 words! What a goal!
Now, back to the question. I like a whole heck of a lot of things. And people. And places. I like to do a lot of things. I like to be busy. I like to fill my time with activity if I can. The question that comes up next is, "What do I love?" so I'll try hard here to stick to things that I like and not things I truly love. Distinguishing between like and love can be difficult. And sometimes, those things overlap. Dylan and I have told one another before, "I love you, but I also really like you." It seems to me that both of those things are important in a relationship.
I really like clouds. Clouds have always been something that has inspired me, and I want someday, to be able to paint a beautiful skyscape, maybe at sunset, maybe at mid-day, but capturing the billowy, pillowy, un-real, wispy aspects of clouds that sometimes photography can't even capture. Clouds to me are one of the most beautiful things we get to see in nature, and they happen almost every day, unlike things like flowers, snow or green trees and grass.
I like cooking. I like going shopping for the fresh ingredients. I like finding new things to cook with at the store- a new sauce or a particularly interesting vegetable. I like experimenting with creating things I've never made before. It's so amazing to me how just a few simple ingredients can produce amazing tastes that are all their own and unique. I like putting together meals from a few different things. I like coming up with sweet and tasty things to eat for dessert. I like making dishes healthy. I like getting all the food groups into one meal, and feeling like someday, I could do that everyday for my family. I cooked this past weekend, just an appetizer, for Dylan's family's Easter dinner. I made homemade bruschetta, which is relatively easy, but so very tasty, and got a ton of compliments on it. I wouldn't say I cook only for compliments, but cooking for others and having them appreciate what I've put time into, is something that I really like. I've liked cooking a lot more since I've been with Dylan, and I think it's because I have someone to eat the things I make!
I like art. I know that's a super broad statement, and art can be so many things, but it's really a very true statement for me. I like most aspects of creating art - painting, drawing, sketching, sculpture, pottery, photography, collage, mosaic, composition. I wish I had more time to put toward art in my life, because I think it really brings out a great side of me: a very thoughtful, graceful side that I don't always inhabit in other parts of my life. I also like to look at other people's art and think about it. I like going to museums. I like walking the halls, looking at paintings and sculptures and thinking about what the artist was feeling when he or she made the piece of art. I like that art makes me feel something and makes me think.
Well, it looks like it only took three things I really like to hit my word count for today. Tomorrow, I will try to write about what I love. And that might send me sky high into thousands of words if I don't watch out. I love a lot of things on this planet.
Now, back to the question. I like a whole heck of a lot of things. And people. And places. I like to do a lot of things. I like to be busy. I like to fill my time with activity if I can. The question that comes up next is, "What do I love?" so I'll try hard here to stick to things that I like and not things I truly love. Distinguishing between like and love can be difficult. And sometimes, those things overlap. Dylan and I have told one another before, "I love you, but I also really like you." It seems to me that both of those things are important in a relationship.
I really like clouds. Clouds have always been something that has inspired me, and I want someday, to be able to paint a beautiful skyscape, maybe at sunset, maybe at mid-day, but capturing the billowy, pillowy, un-real, wispy aspects of clouds that sometimes photography can't even capture. Clouds to me are one of the most beautiful things we get to see in nature, and they happen almost every day, unlike things like flowers, snow or green trees and grass.
I like cooking. I like going shopping for the fresh ingredients. I like finding new things to cook with at the store- a new sauce or a particularly interesting vegetable. I like experimenting with creating things I've never made before. It's so amazing to me how just a few simple ingredients can produce amazing tastes that are all their own and unique. I like putting together meals from a few different things. I like coming up with sweet and tasty things to eat for dessert. I like making dishes healthy. I like getting all the food groups into one meal, and feeling like someday, I could do that everyday for my family. I cooked this past weekend, just an appetizer, for Dylan's family's Easter dinner. I made homemade bruschetta, which is relatively easy, but so very tasty, and got a ton of compliments on it. I wouldn't say I cook only for compliments, but cooking for others and having them appreciate what I've put time into, is something that I really like. I've liked cooking a lot more since I've been with Dylan, and I think it's because I have someone to eat the things I make!
I like art. I know that's a super broad statement, and art can be so many things, but it's really a very true statement for me. I like most aspects of creating art - painting, drawing, sketching, sculpture, pottery, photography, collage, mosaic, composition. I wish I had more time to put toward art in my life, because I think it really brings out a great side of me: a very thoughtful, graceful side that I don't always inhabit in other parts of my life. I also like to look at other people's art and think about it. I like going to museums. I like walking the halls, looking at paintings and sculptures and thinking about what the artist was feeling when he or she made the piece of art. I like that art makes me feel something and makes me think.
Well, it looks like it only took three things I really like to hit my word count for today. Tomorrow, I will try to write about what I love. And that might send me sky high into thousands of words if I don't watch out. I love a lot of things on this planet.
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