March Fitness Update

March was an interesting month for me. It was full of travel - both for pleasure and for business. One thing I did differently was try to measure my workouts in minutes spent working out, not in times gone to the gym, because I was getting caught up in how many workouts I'd accomplished for the week and trying to get in multiple workouts a day. Longer, more rigorous workouts weren't counting for more, they were counting the same as a 20 minute stint on the elliptical. So I changed my way of thinking.

I haven't crunched the numbers yet, but I think with all of my travel, all of our plans every weekend, getting sick on my way back from San Francisco, and staying sick for over two weeks, I didn't get as many minutes (or workouts) in as I wanted to. I'm not ashamed or upset at myself for this, because I stayed on track with my weight for March, no gains, no losses, just maintaining at 197. I think if you're eating amazing food and not killing yourself at the gym, that should be the ultimate goal, right? To stay right where you are?

I did a pretty good job about not talking about my weight or size this past month, but you'll have to ask Dylan for specifics. Toward the end of the month, I started planning for a weight loss challenge with yelp. Check it out! I'm excited for the challenge, but it means really getting down to business for the next six weeks. Hopefully, by the time my April update rolls around, I'll have some real news to report in terms of weight loss! My goal for the six weeks is 12 pounds, which would mean I'd be down to 187. I don't know if that could actually happen, but I'm gunning for it.

For April, I want to lose the first five pounds (hey, the same five I wanted to lose last month!) of my challenge goal and get down to 192. I want to make my goal again to get 150 minutes of exercise a week. And I want to continue to find new and different ways to eat healthily- right now that means a giant tub of fresh strawberries and a tall glass of water for my after work snack. And hopefully, a run later on tonight!

A Day in New York

Just a disclaimer to this post. I have been traveling a lot this month, and keep confusing things that have happened here, with things that have happened elsewhere. It's been a lot of fun, and a whirlwind journey, but as I say at the bottom, I'm ready to settle in for a while and have some home time. Read on for our adventure yesterday.

Holy moly, what a day yesterday. We ran our errands around 10 (got gas, picked up my birth control prescription, went to Dylan's bank, hit up Bruegger's for breakfast, picked up my coat from the cleaner's) and then hit the road. We drove pretty steadily for about an hour and a half and then hit crazy traffic heading into Jersey City. It was a bunch of lane of traffic all merging into one lane, which was tough and took a lot of time. When we got to Anya and Jeff's they said the traffic was probably from the Holland Tunnel, but we didn't even experience that, it was just the crazy merging from the construction!

We drove into Jersey City, which was bigger than we expected, and found parking right away. We headed up to their apartment which was in one of those big old converted warehouses, and the apartment was beautiful!!! They had high ceilings and gorgeous, open space and lots of cool Ikea furniture and cute decor. Even their bedroom was well laid out and spacious. Their kitchen had spices and baking supplies all laid out in containers with labels and I started getting all sorts of ideas for our house someday!

We spent some time chatting with Anya, Jeff, Mark and Jenny and getting to know the place and their dog, Catherine Zeta Jones, the corgie! (Dylan got along with her marvelously!) And then, we all decided to go down the street for some brunch! We headed to a place called Skinner's Loft and Cove where there was a little wait and not much place to wait in, but we ended up sitting down sooner than expected and getting a nice table in the back. Since Dylan and I had already eaten that morning, we only ordered one meal to split, the cornflake crusted French toast, that was stuffed with a berry cream cheese filling, and just to die for! I also got a yummy apple beer that tasted great and was really refreshing. It'd be a great summer beer, drank on a patio in the sweltering heat!

We sat and talked and ate for over an hour and then got on our way to meet Megan in the city. So, we made our way to the Path train just a few blocks over in Jersey City and got a Metro Pass, with about twenty dollars on it for the train and subway and waited for the train. Something about Jersey City makes it so windy and of course, being March it was still freezing cold out, somehow underground too! We hopped on the train, and I was surprised that it only took us two stops to get to the World Trade Center in New York! We walked a bit to the subway, and then got on going toward Grand Central Station to meet Megan getting off of her train.

We had a big, group-hug-filled and photo-tastic reunion and all talked for a few minutes, then made our way to the Big Gay Ice Cream Shop in the East Village. I got Dylan a Monday Sundae cone, which was chocolate-nutella-caramel-salt-twist ice cream, just what he'd wanted, and I got a key lime ice cream sundae, which was right up my alley. We made a couple of pit stops along the way for Mark to pick up some coffee, since he is an aficionado, and then we kept on to our next destination, a trendy little speakeasy called Death & Co. Inside it was dim, lit only with candles and small lights. The cocktails, all of the ones at the table I tried of course, were incredible, and Dylan and I each got a craft beer. Most of the fun of hanging out in the city with my friends is not the trying new places or getting to experience the great food and drainks (though that is a great bonus), but it is the time we spend together and the laughs we have. Not to mention the plans we make for the future, like visiting Megan for her 30th birthday this year, hanging out at Andi's graduation party and getting together in Chicago for Jenny's 30th!

We hung out for a bit longer and then realized we only had a bit longer before Jeff had to get back to Zeta to let her out and Dylan and I had to get back to the car to get on the road. So we headed over to Zab Elee, a cute little Northern Thai restaurant, with an entire menu of things I had never heard of. I got fried beef with chili sauce and some crispy pork with Thai eggplant in curry with sticky rice. I wasn't sure about any of it, 100%, but it was all edible, and I definitely enjoyed my last meal with my friends that day.

Dylan and Jeff and I bid the others folks a fond farewell and headed back to Jersey City, where Jeff sent us on our way and we drove back to Philly. A couple hours later (with no traffic!), we were pulling into my driveway, exhausted, but happy after our 14 hour day of fun going to and from the city to see our friends. It's always an adventure these days, but I think I'm ready to spend some time at home and get my house clean and work out, and eat healthy food and stop spending so much money. Not that I would trade these adventures for anything in the world, but it's about damn time I settled down for a bit. And that's just what I'm about ready to do today.

California Musings

It's been seven years since that trip to California. Since I flew too high and crashed into the sun. Since I felt my brain connecting in a million new ways. It's been seven years of rebuilding, rebirth. Seven years of pills and talking about my struggles and my challenges. Seven years to reclaim what I lost in California and start a new life - one I could be proud of and feel I worked hard for.

It's been a long road to get back here - to get back to a place where I could be on hundred percent ready for these experiences - emotionally, financially, mentally. It's important to me now to do things right - do them well and for the right reasons. I came to California this time for much the same reason I came last time - to experience a new world and and new people, new foods and new sights. To spend time with friends of course, as well, but ultimately, to find adventure and on the way, find out a bit more about myself.

What I have found that is dramatically different about the last time I was here is that I am much more confident in myself, my opinions, my needs and in the things that will make me happy. I feel I was much less likely to speak up for myself at twenty-one than I am at twenty-eight. I am much more fully myself, and while I felt a part of things when we came last time, I feel now I am more present, more connected to the people I'm with and the experiences we share.

To embody this spirit of being truly oneself, speaking up for what you want, being who you are and connecting with everything and everyone around you, is to be more fully alive. I find myself remembering a lot of insecurities from when I came here at twenty-one. I wanted people to like me and I wanted to fit in, I wanted to sound intelligent and I wanted to be desirable. Now that I already feel an internal confidence about these aspects of myself, I am no long seeking this approval elsewhere.

I by no means feel finished these days - I do not feel enlightened or necessarily more empowered than I did seven years ago. But I do feel more myself, more grounded in what I believe and who it is I want to be. I think that the longer we live, the more of ourselves comes out of us and the more sure of who we are we become.

But we will never be finished becoming who we are. We will never wake up to discover that, yes, today is the day I am the person I will be, unchanging, for the rest of my life. We will continue to grow, to build upon our lives in ways that change us and make us more ourselves than we've ever been.

Maybe I can come to California again - if not in another seven years, then sometime in the future. Maybe I can come for new experience, to reset my brain and truly think about what it is that I believe in. I don't know who that woman will be, but I think I have an idea that I'll like her very much.

Remember when I didn't drink coffee for a whole year?

And now I can't seem to go a day without a cup? At least I've gotten away from drinking 3 or 4 cups every day. I try to limit myself to one, maybe two. But I kind of miss those days of freedom where I'd start my day feeling more energized and not like the coffee was the light at the end of the sleepy tunnel that would start my day off right for me. There's just something about that sweet, smokey elixir that makes everything seem right with the world. I can't shake it, and I think coffee and I are going to be friends for a long, long time.