The weekend went really well, all things considered. I thought I ate responsibly on Friday night, though, I drank a bit irresponsibly. I had a great time hanging out with friends and it was definitely a much needed night of kicking back and not worrying about anything.
Saturday, I tried to eat healthily, incorporating fruits and veggies into my diet. We picked up some eggs, peppers, mushrooms and pancetta for breakfast Sunday morning, and had big salads and sushi for dinner. Dylan had a little ice cream, but I stayed strong with an apple!
The rest of the week went relatively well. I've incorporated veggies and fruits into my diet each day, and my first organic produce delivery came on Tuesday!
Happy weekend all!
Weight- 212
30 Min. Run- 2.64
Pounds from goal- 28lbs
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Growing Up with Bob
Well today is the first time I might be pulled away from my 750 words while I'm writing them. I'm starting at 6:22 and Dylan's supposed to be here to pick me up at 6:30. We're heading to a town called Audobon (I belonged to the Audobon Society when I was younger, and received a book about birds for my membership fee- is it the same Audobon?!), to a restaurant on Egypt Road (MUMMIES?) called Chadwick's.
Originally, the plan was to meet Jess at a restaurant in Ardmore called Firinji. I picked it because it was close to me so Dylan wouldn't have to drive much further after coming out here. But Marie emailed me this morning, asking if we'd join her in supporting her friend Joel and his band tonight. I politely declined, but come 4:00, Jess IMed me asking if I wanted to change our plans and go. I was a little torn even saying I would check, since I had told Marie we had dinner plans, but not with Jess. I guess I figured in the end that she'd be happier to see us (she really likes Dylan) than upset that I hadn't told her about Jess and our dinner plans.
So I called Dylan and asked him what he thought, explaining the situation and where the restaurant is. He asked if I'd like to go with just Jess. I haven't seen Dylan for four days, so I said, "NO WAY JOSE." And that I'd rather tell Jess we can go to Firinji with her or reschedule completely. I love seeing Jess and I adore Marie, but I guess in this case, I was choosing Dylan before the girls. In this case, it worked out, because Dylan said he'd go, but that it was just a lot of driving.
But overall, I have Bob's words hanging over my head that I need to maintain my own life and not get sucked into coupledom. Am I sucked into coupledom? I'm happy in coupledom. Should I be capitalizing that? Is it a proper noun? Coupledom, USA. Nah. Too official. Anyhow, I'm trying to do things with friends. Last Friday with Dani was perfection. Amazing food, flowing conversation that seemed to carry us late into the night without realizing it. And then, late in the evening Dylan, and eventually Bryan, met up with us, and it was a ton of fun. I love being able to incorporate Dylan into my friendships, since he gets along so well with everyone I love.
I think I do need to schedule some Bob time in the near future. Oh! We have our wedding weekend coming up. I like that we're going to have Thursday all to ourselves to hang, maybe grabbing a drink with the girls Thursday evening. But it'll be nice to have some quality Bob and Amanda time. I just have to make sure not to max my credit card out that weekend. It'll be in the name of friendship and love!!!! I think that's forgivable, don't you? I think investing time into Bob is a lot more worthwhile than investing money into him, since I feel like I can never match the generosity of his gifts.
It's important for me to remind him how much I adore him, and love that he's always tried to be there for me...except of course, when I don't do a great job of telling him I'm coming home, and he gets pissed at me for a month and a half. Boy, I'm glad that got worked out. I love that man, and I never want to see him leave my life. I am so psyched for Chicago, because, yes, I am there for Jenny and seeing my college friends all in one place will be awesome, but it means a lot to me that Bob is coming to see me through this. Just like in the old days.
Except this time, I won't get drunk and go to work, or rip his wig off at the Burger King. We're grown ups now. At least, most of the time we are. We try to be. Our friendship has evolved so much from where we started, yet, somehow we're still the same teenagers who hung out at Steve's Place. We just have a lot more money and responsibility now. And live fancier lives. And have careers and relationships to think about. And aging parents. And debt. Ahhh, growing up and growing old. It's a joy. But I'm happy I get to do it with Bob.
Originally, the plan was to meet Jess at a restaurant in Ardmore called Firinji. I picked it because it was close to me so Dylan wouldn't have to drive much further after coming out here. But Marie emailed me this morning, asking if we'd join her in supporting her friend Joel and his band tonight. I politely declined, but come 4:00, Jess IMed me asking if I wanted to change our plans and go. I was a little torn even saying I would check, since I had told Marie we had dinner plans, but not with Jess. I guess I figured in the end that she'd be happier to see us (she really likes Dylan) than upset that I hadn't told her about Jess and our dinner plans.
So I called Dylan and asked him what he thought, explaining the situation and where the restaurant is. He asked if I'd like to go with just Jess. I haven't seen Dylan for four days, so I said, "NO WAY JOSE." And that I'd rather tell Jess we can go to Firinji with her or reschedule completely. I love seeing Jess and I adore Marie, but I guess in this case, I was choosing Dylan before the girls. In this case, it worked out, because Dylan said he'd go, but that it was just a lot of driving.
But overall, I have Bob's words hanging over my head that I need to maintain my own life and not get sucked into coupledom. Am I sucked into coupledom? I'm happy in coupledom. Should I be capitalizing that? Is it a proper noun? Coupledom, USA. Nah. Too official. Anyhow, I'm trying to do things with friends. Last Friday with Dani was perfection. Amazing food, flowing conversation that seemed to carry us late into the night without realizing it. And then, late in the evening Dylan, and eventually Bryan, met up with us, and it was a ton of fun. I love being able to incorporate Dylan into my friendships, since he gets along so well with everyone I love.
I think I do need to schedule some Bob time in the near future. Oh! We have our wedding weekend coming up. I like that we're going to have Thursday all to ourselves to hang, maybe grabbing a drink with the girls Thursday evening. But it'll be nice to have some quality Bob and Amanda time. I just have to make sure not to max my credit card out that weekend. It'll be in the name of friendship and love!!!! I think that's forgivable, don't you? I think investing time into Bob is a lot more worthwhile than investing money into him, since I feel like I can never match the generosity of his gifts.
It's important for me to remind him how much I adore him, and love that he's always tried to be there for me...except of course, when I don't do a great job of telling him I'm coming home, and he gets pissed at me for a month and a half. Boy, I'm glad that got worked out. I love that man, and I never want to see him leave my life. I am so psyched for Chicago, because, yes, I am there for Jenny and seeing my college friends all in one place will be awesome, but it means a lot to me that Bob is coming to see me through this. Just like in the old days.
Except this time, I won't get drunk and go to work, or rip his wig off at the Burger King. We're grown ups now. At least, most of the time we are. We try to be. Our friendship has evolved so much from where we started, yet, somehow we're still the same teenagers who hung out at Steve's Place. We just have a lot more money and responsibility now. And live fancier lives. And have careers and relationships to think about. And aging parents. And debt. Ahhh, growing up and growing old. It's a joy. But I'm happy I get to do it with Bob.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Money Money Money, MON-EY
All I want to do is shop. I want to buy clothes. Bags. Shoes. I want to buy presents for my friends. Presents for my family. Presents for Dylan! I want to buy Dylan helicopter rides, movies, music, books, T-shirts, clothes, shoes. I want to buy him things for his car, his room, for our house together someday. But I know that I should live within my means for now. Pay off what I've spent on my credit card in the past few weeks, and start putting all my extra dough in the bank. It'll serve us better in the long run, and maybe in the not-so-long run, if we decide to move in together this January.
I wish I made more money. I wish my raise had been a little more than it was. I wish it were easier to earn more money doing the job I do. I am hoping that the initiative I've taken this year in taking on new and different projects and creating documents that can grow the future of my department will make me a more valuable and worthwhile employee- worthy of giving bigger raises to! I think the thing that would matter the most in terms of money would be a promotion. I would need to be promoted from assistant vice president to vice president. I don't know what kind of leap that would mean salary-wise, but I'd be happy to find out!
I think the past couple of years, my raises have been a little bigger than the one I got this year, so it seemed like kind of a let-down, instead of, "Oh! I got a raise! Awesome!" It was more like, "Oh...only that? Ok..." I wish that I had it in me, or that it would matter, if I could fight for more money. Demand more money. Do people do that? I feel like corporate jaguars do it. Are corporate jaguars a thing? If I work for a big company like FTI now, can you negotiate for more of a salary? If I could do that, wouldn't all of the contractors working for Comcast negotiate getting things like sick days, health insurance and a pension? You'd think so.
One of the cool things about the money I make right now is that 3%of my salary goes into my 401K, which I just learned many people do not even begin saving for until they're into their 30s or 40s- crazy! I had a 401K at my first job out of school. Unfortunately, it only had $1000 in it when I switched jobs, and I had to remove it all if I didn't want to transfer it to an IRA...and at the time, it mattered more to be able to pay my rent while I was in transition than to save for retirement. But it's important to save for the future, and that's what I'm doing now. What I like about my 401K versus my savings account, is that I can barely touch my 401K. I can't go to an ATM and extract $20 from it. I would have to make a calculated decision (and be heavily taxed) to take money from myself.
I'm hoping soon to have a nice hefty sum in my savings account too, so when I need an extra $100 here or there, I don't have to turn to credit cards, I can just remove and replace it in my savings account when it's convenient for me.
I feel like I'm getting close to a place where I'm completely responsible with me money. But things like going out to dinner, crisp packages of stationery, cute new dresses, amazing boots and cups of hot tea from Starbucks will always be calling. And I have to learn to budget my money, like I budget my time. I feel like I'm worlds better at budgeting both of these things than I was 5 years ago, but I still have irresponsible instincts with both sometime. I wonder about that from time to time. Is it OK to have days or nights, where I don't do much of anything? I have nights like that with Dylan, where we kick back and watch TV for hours on end...but after that, I end up feeling very warm and fuzzy but not very accomplished. I think it's important for me to feel accomplished. I think I mentioned that yesterday, in fact...I'm sensing some THEMES for my 750 words a day here, people! Let's see what develops next month, where I'll try to write every SINGLE DAY.
I wish I made more money. I wish my raise had been a little more than it was. I wish it were easier to earn more money doing the job I do. I am hoping that the initiative I've taken this year in taking on new and different projects and creating documents that can grow the future of my department will make me a more valuable and worthwhile employee- worthy of giving bigger raises to! I think the thing that would matter the most in terms of money would be a promotion. I would need to be promoted from assistant vice president to vice president. I don't know what kind of leap that would mean salary-wise, but I'd be happy to find out!
I think the past couple of years, my raises have been a little bigger than the one I got this year, so it seemed like kind of a let-down, instead of, "Oh! I got a raise! Awesome!" It was more like, "Oh...only that? Ok..." I wish that I had it in me, or that it would matter, if I could fight for more money. Demand more money. Do people do that? I feel like corporate jaguars do it. Are corporate jaguars a thing? If I work for a big company like FTI now, can you negotiate for more of a salary? If I could do that, wouldn't all of the contractors working for Comcast negotiate getting things like sick days, health insurance and a pension? You'd think so.
One of the cool things about the money I make right now is that 3%of my salary goes into my 401K, which I just learned many people do not even begin saving for until they're into their 30s or 40s- crazy! I had a 401K at my first job out of school. Unfortunately, it only had $1000 in it when I switched jobs, and I had to remove it all if I didn't want to transfer it to an IRA...and at the time, it mattered more to be able to pay my rent while I was in transition than to save for retirement. But it's important to save for the future, and that's what I'm doing now. What I like about my 401K versus my savings account, is that I can barely touch my 401K. I can't go to an ATM and extract $20 from it. I would have to make a calculated decision (and be heavily taxed) to take money from myself.
I'm hoping soon to have a nice hefty sum in my savings account too, so when I need an extra $100 here or there, I don't have to turn to credit cards, I can just remove and replace it in my savings account when it's convenient for me.
I feel like I'm getting close to a place where I'm completely responsible with me money. But things like going out to dinner, crisp packages of stationery, cute new dresses, amazing boots and cups of hot tea from Starbucks will always be calling. And I have to learn to budget my money, like I budget my time. I feel like I'm worlds better at budgeting both of these things than I was 5 years ago, but I still have irresponsible instincts with both sometime. I wonder about that from time to time. Is it OK to have days or nights, where I don't do much of anything? I have nights like that with Dylan, where we kick back and watch TV for hours on end...but after that, I end up feeling very warm and fuzzy but not very accomplished. I think it's important for me to feel accomplished. I think I mentioned that yesterday, in fact...I'm sensing some THEMES for my 750 words a day here, people! Let's see what develops next month, where I'll try to write every SINGLE DAY.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Hate Saying Goodbye
Why is it that I never seem to want to hang up the phone at night? No matter how good the conversation is, no matter how much I've laughed, no matter how many times I've been thankful that we're together and we're talking, getting off the phone is always hard for me. It's like I want him to talk me to the edge of sleep, and whisper goodnight to me as I drift off, every single night.
I'm not like that at work when he calls, or in the evening when I'm walking home from work. It's such a drag. I feel kind of codependent. I'm so excited about the prospect of moving in together, but I don't want it to just make me more dependent on Dylan to make me happy and make me feel whole. It's important for me to maintain my sense of self. And I don't know where the dependent part of me came from, but I'd be alright if it left. I find the same thing happens when Dylan goes to leave. Maybe it's because he's got the car and the home to go home to, and he's the one that's got homework in the evening time.
During the day, I'm busy and am the one being interrupted, but at night, he's the one that's got things to get back to. And when we hang out, he's always got something to get back to, but when he leaves me, he's leaving me by myself.
I sometimes love being by myself. I can write, read, draw, cook, eat, watch TV, take baths, make cards, try on outfits, organize, clean, pet my cats, browse through magazines, go for a walk, online shop, exercise, dance to music...the possibilities are endless. But for some reason, whenever he gets ready to leave me, I always feel a big sense of loss, not of freedom. I think I need to get better at saying goodbye. I need to get better at being alone. I need to get better at loving being with me.
I think this summer, when Dylan has class 4 nights a week, and us hanging out on weeknights becomes scarce, I think I will get better at being alone. I can go to my art class every week, hang out with my friends more, always have a clean house, go to the gym in the evenings, get more adventurous with my cooking, and make time for the things that are important to me...besides having a boyfriend. I'm really glad I started doing the art class. It's made me really happy and given me a big sense of myself back.
I think my next step will either be going to back to school for real or joining a new group - maybe singing, maybe public speaking, maybe volunteering...I don't know! I could do anything I set my mind to. The only thing that scares me about going back to school for my masters is not ever having any free time to myself. I love my evenings, and being able to work out when I want and watch mindless shows if I want, and go to bed early if I want. If my nights are always being taken up by class, and if not class, homework, then when am I going to have this precious me time?
I guess I should embrace it while I have it. That's it. I will declare this summer the summer of ME. I will do things that I've always wanted to do. I will make things happen. I will SEIZE LIFE BY THE CAJONES AND MAKE IT MY OWN. OK, maybe that was a little too far, but you see the point. I'm going to do this. I kind of want to go blond. But that's a lot of maintenance. I kind of want to get better at roller skating. I want to run along Kelly Drive some evening. But getting there and getting back could be such a pain in the tukus.
I want to read all of my magazines that have been piling up. If Vogue doesn't cancel my subscription soon, they'll never stop piling up! I figure if I can read one magazine a week on the train, and read my book nights and weekends, then I might be caught up on my magazines in a few months! Wouldn't that be awesome. Well, it looks like I'm coming to the end of my 750 words. This wasn't as hard as I thought it would be! Whoot! Let's see if I can do this tomorrow too!
I'm not like that at work when he calls, or in the evening when I'm walking home from work. It's such a drag. I feel kind of codependent. I'm so excited about the prospect of moving in together, but I don't want it to just make me more dependent on Dylan to make me happy and make me feel whole. It's important for me to maintain my sense of self. And I don't know where the dependent part of me came from, but I'd be alright if it left. I find the same thing happens when Dylan goes to leave. Maybe it's because he's got the car and the home to go home to, and he's the one that's got homework in the evening time.
During the day, I'm busy and am the one being interrupted, but at night, he's the one that's got things to get back to. And when we hang out, he's always got something to get back to, but when he leaves me, he's leaving me by myself.
I sometimes love being by myself. I can write, read, draw, cook, eat, watch TV, take baths, make cards, try on outfits, organize, clean, pet my cats, browse through magazines, go for a walk, online shop, exercise, dance to music...the possibilities are endless. But for some reason, whenever he gets ready to leave me, I always feel a big sense of loss, not of freedom. I think I need to get better at saying goodbye. I need to get better at being alone. I need to get better at loving being with me.
I think this summer, when Dylan has class 4 nights a week, and us hanging out on weeknights becomes scarce, I think I will get better at being alone. I can go to my art class every week, hang out with my friends more, always have a clean house, go to the gym in the evenings, get more adventurous with my cooking, and make time for the things that are important to me...besides having a boyfriend. I'm really glad I started doing the art class. It's made me really happy and given me a big sense of myself back.
I think my next step will either be going to back to school for real or joining a new group - maybe singing, maybe public speaking, maybe volunteering...I don't know! I could do anything I set my mind to. The only thing that scares me about going back to school for my masters is not ever having any free time to myself. I love my evenings, and being able to work out when I want and watch mindless shows if I want, and go to bed early if I want. If my nights are always being taken up by class, and if not class, homework, then when am I going to have this precious me time?
I guess I should embrace it while I have it. That's it. I will declare this summer the summer of ME. I will do things that I've always wanted to do. I will make things happen. I will SEIZE LIFE BY THE CAJONES AND MAKE IT MY OWN. OK, maybe that was a little too far, but you see the point. I'm going to do this. I kind of want to go blond. But that's a lot of maintenance. I kind of want to get better at roller skating. I want to run along Kelly Drive some evening. But getting there and getting back could be such a pain in the tukus.
I want to read all of my magazines that have been piling up. If Vogue doesn't cancel my subscription soon, they'll never stop piling up! I figure if I can read one magazine a week on the train, and read my book nights and weekends, then I might be caught up on my magazines in a few months! Wouldn't that be awesome. Well, it looks like I'm coming to the end of my 750 words. This wasn't as hard as I thought it would be! Whoot! Let's see if I can do this tomorrow too!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Week 12
We had an awesome time in DC last weekend. I managed to fit veggies into my diet each day, but those veggies were accompanied by things like pasta, cocktails and French fries. All in all, not too much damage done. I only went up one pound. I had my fitness evaluation again on Monday, and found I had not lost ANY percentage of body fat. I'm going to focus extra hard on my moves from my trainer these next few weeks and see if I can't build a little more lean muscle. I'd love to dip below the 30% mark (I'm at 31.8% now.)
Dylan and I discovered a fabulous Indian restaurant near my house this week. I found a Groupon for it, and then looked it up and on Yelp and saw it had not so good reviews! Check it: Khajuraho Indian Restaurant - Fortunately, we had a much better experience than most of these people. The staff and owner were awesome, the food was tasty, and we got to redeem the Groupon, but were invited to print it out AGAIN and come back for the same discount! Super cool. I was proud I put half of the meal in a leftover container to take home, so I didn't overdo it.
This weekend, I'm meeting Dani in Media for dinner Friday, and Dylan and I are doing a picnic dinner on Saturday if the weather's nice! Trying to keep up the good work, and maybe lose these last 10 pounds to make it below 200 by my birthday (a big reach, I know, but it's worth a shot!)
Weight- 210lbs
30 Min. Run- 2.62
Pounds from goal- 26lbs
Dylan and I discovered a fabulous Indian restaurant near my house this week. I found a Groupon for it, and then looked it up and on Yelp and saw it had not so good reviews! Check it: Khajuraho Indian Restaurant - Fortunately, we had a much better experience than most of these people. The staff and owner were awesome, the food was tasty, and we got to redeem the Groupon, but were invited to print it out AGAIN and come back for the same discount! Super cool. I was proud I put half of the meal in a leftover container to take home, so I didn't overdo it.
This weekend, I'm meeting Dani in Media for dinner Friday, and Dylan and I are doing a picnic dinner on Saturday if the weather's nice! Trying to keep up the good work, and maybe lose these last 10 pounds to make it below 200 by my birthday (a big reach, I know, but it's worth a shot!)
Weight- 210lbs
30 Min. Run- 2.62
Pounds from goal- 26lbs
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Week 11
Cooking healthy for Dylan and I has been going well. We are taking a trip to DC this weekend, and I'm looking to keep my diet in check. I have my second fitness test on Monday. I'm hoping to have lost at least a few pounds!
My trainer, Melvin, also gave me a kick ass new workout. I did the whole thing through on Monday, then half the exercises with a steady run on Wednesday. I stopped tracking food for the past week, but I think I'm going to go back to it for a while to keep myself accountable. I upped my run this week, but never weighed myself! Hoping for good results on Monday w/ Artis!
Weight- 210lbs (from last week)
30 Min. Run- 2.58
Pounds from goal- 26lbs
Happy weekend! (Early!)
My trainer, Melvin, also gave me a kick ass new workout. I did the whole thing through on Monday, then half the exercises with a steady run on Wednesday. I stopped tracking food for the past week, but I think I'm going to go back to it for a while to keep myself accountable. I upped my run this week, but never weighed myself! Hoping for good results on Monday w/ Artis!
Weight- 210lbs (from last week)
30 Min. Run- 2.58
Pounds from goal- 26lbs
Happy weekend! (Early!)
Friday, March 9, 2012
Week 10
The past week has been so hectic! But I've made it to the gym at least a couple times. I have been inordinately hungry lately, eating more than I have been, but I'd like to attribute that to all of the muscle I've been building with my awesome trainer workouts!
I've been doing my circuit even on days I don't go to the gym, which I think has helped me get in better shape!
Weight- 210lbs
30 Min. Run- 2.56
Pounds from goal- 26lbs
Happy weekend!
I've been doing my circuit even on days I don't go to the gym, which I think has helped me get in better shape!
Weight- 210lbs
30 Min. Run- 2.56
Pounds from goal- 26lbs
Happy weekend!
Friday, March 2, 2012
Week 9 - Special K Diet Fail
I tried the Special K diet this week. I didn't lose a ton of weight, and all I got was angry and unfulfilled during the workday, causing me to want to eat more for dinner. I think I'm going to stick to my normal healthy eating from now on.
The good news: Dylan's joining me on my quest for weight loss! He wants to lose 40 pounds, and we've started eating healthier TOGETHER, making weekends way easier to stick to my plan. Let's see how this plays out at my weigh in and trainer appointment next week!
Happy weekend all!
Weight- 211lbs
30 Min. Run- 2.52
Pounds from goal- 27lbs
The good news: Dylan's joining me on my quest for weight loss! He wants to lose 40 pounds, and we've started eating healthier TOGETHER, making weekends way easier to stick to my plan. Let's see how this plays out at my weigh in and trainer appointment next week!
Happy weekend all!
Weight- 211lbs
30 Min. Run- 2.52
Pounds from goal- 27lbs
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