Things I'd Like to Say That I Won't

Because people rarely read this. And I just needed to JUST NEEDED TO SAY IT OUT LOUD. Or kind of...

1. I said some crazy fucking things last night! I didn't mean to explode all over with gushy rambling. You just made me feel so good. And people these days...well, I guess they have been able to make me feel good, but not like that. Not in a while. Not with just kissing me. And talking to me. I was hungry for you. I was hungry for the way you kissed me. The heat behind it and within you and the words you peppered into it all. It's amazing to me, that even while smashing faces, we still had witty banter. The rapport lives.

2. You drive me crazy! Because you drive me places. You don't know how much not having a car has made me sad. And I hate taking advantage of people with cars. I hate it. But I do love when people offer me rides. Like I said, it makes me feel fancy.

3. You treat me like a friend and I adore that. In the most respectful way, you can make fun of my every move and I just....melt for that.

4. You're the perfect height for making out. Yet somehow I was still on my tiptoes, grabbing your face in my hands.

5. I hope my crazy fire doesn't burn you out. I want to stoke things slow and right and I just don't want to....freak you out and away. I just want to show you your wit and intelligence and charm and sincerity are so worth waiting for.

6. On the note of crazy fire, I really really want to touch you. And I am sorry if that is too much touching...it's just that you're new. And interesting. And attractive. And a BOY! And it's like getting a new toy for Christmas and you don't want to wear it out or use it up too fast, so you try to play with it only occasionally.

7. When you are honest and kind of embarrassed about it and your eyes crinkle, I also get a little melty. I know that's not your fault. You can keep it up though, if you think of it.

I think that's all for now. I'm just sitting here, remembering how my legs almost gave out when your goatee was on my neck and your breath moved across my collarbone. I won't send this to you. I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't. But maybe, if there's more of this to come...you can see it someday. Tom McMahon, stop getting to me. I need to catch my breath and remember I met you like, A WEEK AGO. Or was it two?

Deep breaths. Here I go.

If you want to like, call me sometime though...that's cool. Talking is less dangerous than...ok, who am I kidding? That's how we got into this mess :)