Side note, preface-thingy: yesterday, I felt awful. I wanted to move away and start a new life. I felt like a failure in every way. I couldn't even watch TV without my brain telling me all the things that were wrong with my life. And then this is today:
OMG. Today has kicked yesterday's ASS. I don't know what my problem was yesterday. Scratch that. I do know what it was. I was second guessing myself. I was taking things personally, and I was letting negative thoughts overtake my brain. Today, I have taken charge of the world and it is MINE! I've talked, hung out, gone on walks, brought my own lunch, and am about ready to hit the gym for a good old fashioned RUN. I am so psyched for life today, which is the exact opposite of how I felt yesterday. Today, nothing can stop me. I think it's all about attitude. The thing I've noticed about the two really good days that I've had this week has been that I've come in with a plan. Just a simple plan to make an effort to talk to the people around me. Obviously things escalated from the plan, and have gone well from there, but I think the attitude of having a plan makes things worlds better.
Maybe I should start every day like that. I don't know if I would absolutely need that, but I do need to remind myself that I'm worthy and smart and funny sometimes. Dylan does a good job of reminding me too. I can't believe how upset I was last night, and how things seem so much better and brighter today. I guess I am no longer the bright, shiny, positive person I am EVERY day. But I certainly am today.
One of the things that is on my mind today is saving money. If I can start bringing in salads or wraps from Trader Joe's instead of buying my lunch out everyday, I think I can save myself at least $20 per week. Maybe $30. And with ceasing the organic produce delivery for the time being, I'm eating less fruit, but I am able to snack on baby carrots and cherry tomatoes for only about $3 a week from Sue's. And buying salad stuff for home only costs another $8-$10 a week which saves me $15. That's $45 in my pocket right there, just from eating smarter! And with Dylan and I going out less (or him getting paid more and paying for us more!), I think I can work to pay down my credit card this summer and save the money I need for our vacation to Atlantic City this fall.
I'm hoping our other trips this summer can be low-budget. Aside from gas and tolls, we'll be doing a lot of meals with family, and like Kaela's mom's party, catered by others! I will make sure to pack lots of yummy road snacks from Trader Joe's and the odd order of fries from a rest stop won't kill our budget. The more I figure out where my money is going, the more I feel like I could really run a household and a family someday. It's a very empowering feeling. And to someday have BOTH of our incomes to use and plan with- well, gosh, that will be just heaven on earth. I'm sure we won't ever have more money than we know what to do with, or fatty fat fat savings and trusts for our children, but I have a feeling we'll be doing alright for ourselves pretty soon down the line.
And gosh, I know Dylan sleeping over last night was nice. He really makes me happy. I can't wait to spend my life making him happy too. That's it. My sappy romantic blurt is over.
Back to money! I joined Pear a few months back, a really cool budgeting website. I've been supremely diligent about inputting all of my expenses, but I haven't actually gone through and revised my budget or analyzed my spending. I think I might need some help with that. Maybe my mom or Dylan would be able to take a look and advise me. I think I'll be able to tell where I'm going over in spending (TRAVEL! CLOTHING!) but I'm not sure really what to do about that except to adjust my budget to account for the things I need to spend. To be honest, I don't buy THAT many clothes. And I think I only budgeted $500 for each for the year, and that doesn't seem like that much when you break it down by month.
Something I always want to be able to do is go out to dinner. It doesn't have to be at fancy places, but it is my biggest indulgence, and I'd gladly give up take out and restaurant lunches to be able to go out to dinner every now and then. I think it's time to set some financial goals! Stand by. (But not really, because it won't be for a few days!)
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