Back under 210! What a great feeling. I'm hoping to get through this weekend like I did last weekend: making sensible choices and trying to get a little exercise in when I can. I have Josh and Kristi in town tonight, and then Jenny's bachelorette party in Chicago Saturday night. It'll be a whirlwind weekend; I hope I can keep my wits about me!
I went to Cardio Jam, the class I used to frequent once or twice a week, this week. It was the first time I'd been in almost three months! Actually, more like four. I was a bad kid. So involved in running and weight training, I forgot what I loved. It was a pretty good workout- it felt good to sweat for a while hour. I'm definitely going back next week if I can!
Another great find this week was Hip City Veg, an all natural and all vegan lunch place that is incredibly tasty. I'm most CERTAINLY going back next week to try their chick'n sandwich or ziggy burger. Check out my yelp review here!
Other that that, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing. I haven't seen 208 on the scale in months and months- since 2011, actually, so that would be a big win next week if that was what my weigh in brought! Fingers crossed!
Happy weekend all!
Weight- 209.2lbs
30 Min. Run- 2.75 (came in strong at 5.4 mph the whole time!)
Pounds from goal- 25.2lbs
Friday, April 27, 2012
A Little Bit About Music
I am having trouble thinking of things to write about that are not about my recent past or upcoming future. I think my mind is consumed with the things in my life that are important to me, and apparently none of those things are dissecting music, commenting on politics, making funny jokes, chatting about celebrities. Am I boring? I know I'm fun to be around, (at least I think I am!), but it seems from what I've been writing in the past couple of weeks that I don't have a lot to say that's not like journal entry-worthy.
Let's take a stab at it...Music:
I listed to the new Jack White's new album Blunderbuss on Spotify yesterday. I had read about him having a problem with women he can't control, and how this comes into play in a lot of his lyrics. I thought initially, "Oh, it can't be that bad." It must be because I read the article (http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2012/04/jack-whites-women-problem/256349/) ahead of time, but I heard snippets exemplifying this in almost every single song. Talk about issues! This was really my first foray into Jack White's music, since I've never really been an avid fan of the White Stripes. I liked the sound of it, but the content I wasn't too sure about.
I also listened to a bunch of music by Gotye while I was cleaning my apartment last night. I really enjoyed the popular song he did with Kimbra, "Somebody I Used to Know," and the video to that song is pretty awesome. But I have to say, aside from a few kind of catchy songs, I wasn't captured by his other music. I listened through all of his albums and down to the remixes of his current songs, and I don't think I was caught up in any one song to pay attention too much. I listened to the whole new album, Making Mirrors, again at work this morning, and was like, "Meh." I wanted him to be better. I wanted his music to grab me.
Now I'm listening to dance music! It brings me back to my roots. Not my young kid roots (Beatles, Beach Boys, Diana Ross records) and not my young teenage roots (90s Nirvana to No Doubt to Hanson), but my "I'm friends with Bob" roots in the years when we'd listen to Christina Aguilera dance mixes in the car, choreographing routines for music videos, and driving up to Montreal on a whim to dance the night away at a booming techno after-hours club. I watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother last night talking about all the things they're too old to do. I think driving 3 hours to go to an all night dance club is on that list for me at the ripe old age of 28. Even Bob, who seemed worlds older than me back then, was only 18 or 19 when we were doing that crazy stuff. I don't think either of us has the stamina for it anymore. But we can still enjoy the music.
Music I have been really enjoying lately includes the whole Of Monsters and Men album that I finally downloaded "My Head is an Animal," the Fun. album "Some Nights," and Lana Del Rey's "Born to Die." Of Monsters and Men just seem to be full of anthems. I don't know how better to describe their appeal. In the way that for almost every song they sang at their concert, they had the audience singing along for some part of the chorus or vocal part. I will always love "Little Talks" but "Dirty Paws" and "Mountain Sound" have really made their way into my heart as favorites.
My all time favorite on Fun.'s album is the title track from the album, "Some Nights." A cross between a gospel choir and Vampire Weekend is how I described it to a friend. It just jazzes me up so much to hear it blaring into my headphones. Most of the other songs on the album are catchy and fun to listen to, but none grabs me as much as "Some Nights." I also really enjoy the hit off of that album "We Are Young." It features Janelle Monae who I liked ages ago on facebook just purely by seeing the way she dresses. I must make a note to download more of her music.
Last was Lana Del Rey. Her voice is captivating, and I feel like she could be singing about horse poop, and I'd still listed. The title track "Born to Die," and the following track, "Off to the Races" are my favorites from that album, but I also love "Video Games," the song that became a youtube sensation and made her famous. I'm interested to see where she goes from this debut, and if she has staying power.
Well, there I go. I thought I had nothing to say, and I went and talked about music for the whole 750 words. Next up, politics? I think I might miss tomorrow, since I'm traveling, but I'll do my best!
Let's take a stab at it...Music:
I listed to the new Jack White's new album Blunderbuss on Spotify yesterday. I had read about him having a problem with women he can't control, and how this comes into play in a lot of his lyrics. I thought initially, "Oh, it can't be that bad." It must be because I read the article (http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2012/04/jack-whites-women-problem/256349/) ahead of time, but I heard snippets exemplifying this in almost every single song. Talk about issues! This was really my first foray into Jack White's music, since I've never really been an avid fan of the White Stripes. I liked the sound of it, but the content I wasn't too sure about.
I also listened to a bunch of music by Gotye while I was cleaning my apartment last night. I really enjoyed the popular song he did with Kimbra, "Somebody I Used to Know," and the video to that song is pretty awesome. But I have to say, aside from a few kind of catchy songs, I wasn't captured by his other music. I listened through all of his albums and down to the remixes of his current songs, and I don't think I was caught up in any one song to pay attention too much. I listened to the whole new album, Making Mirrors, again at work this morning, and was like, "Meh." I wanted him to be better. I wanted his music to grab me.
Now I'm listening to dance music! It brings me back to my roots. Not my young kid roots (Beatles, Beach Boys, Diana Ross records) and not my young teenage roots (90s Nirvana to No Doubt to Hanson), but my "I'm friends with Bob" roots in the years when we'd listen to Christina Aguilera dance mixes in the car, choreographing routines for music videos, and driving up to Montreal on a whim to dance the night away at a booming techno after-hours club. I watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother last night talking about all the things they're too old to do. I think driving 3 hours to go to an all night dance club is on that list for me at the ripe old age of 28. Even Bob, who seemed worlds older than me back then, was only 18 or 19 when we were doing that crazy stuff. I don't think either of us has the stamina for it anymore. But we can still enjoy the music.
Music I have been really enjoying lately includes the whole Of Monsters and Men album that I finally downloaded "My Head is an Animal," the Fun. album "Some Nights," and Lana Del Rey's "Born to Die." Of Monsters and Men just seem to be full of anthems. I don't know how better to describe their appeal. In the way that for almost every song they sang at their concert, they had the audience singing along for some part of the chorus or vocal part. I will always love "Little Talks" but "Dirty Paws" and "Mountain Sound" have really made their way into my heart as favorites.
My all time favorite on Fun.'s album is the title track from the album, "Some Nights." A cross between a gospel choir and Vampire Weekend is how I described it to a friend. It just jazzes me up so much to hear it blaring into my headphones. Most of the other songs on the album are catchy and fun to listen to, but none grabs me as much as "Some Nights." I also really enjoy the hit off of that album "We Are Young." It features Janelle Monae who I liked ages ago on facebook just purely by seeing the way she dresses. I must make a note to download more of her music.
Last was Lana Del Rey. Her voice is captivating, and I feel like she could be singing about horse poop, and I'd still listed. The title track "Born to Die," and the following track, "Off to the Races" are my favorites from that album, but I also love "Video Games," the song that became a youtube sensation and made her famous. I'm interested to see where she goes from this debut, and if she has staying power.
Well, there I go. I thought I had nothing to say, and I went and talked about music for the whole 750 words. Next up, politics? I think I might miss tomorrow, since I'm traveling, but I'll do my best!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Awesomeness Turned Anxiousness
I had a wonderful night last night, but a very anxious morning today.
Last night, I came home around 6 and talked to my brother for about a half hour. We don't talk on the phone very often, but last night I questioned why that is. It's not that we don't get along. I could talk to him for hours! We just don't find occasion to call each other that often. I must make a mental note to call him more often.
While on the phone with Josh, I made baggies of the (censored for Dylan) I got Dylan for his birthday. Josh had an idea to draw pictures of the (censored for Dylan) on the bag, but make them looks like Dylan. I did ones in four different colors on four sandwich ziploc bags, and put glasses on all of them to make them look like Dylan! I think he'll appreciate the little extra touch there.
I sent a picture of the baggies to Josh after we got off of the phone and one to Alex since she was with me when I bought the (censored for Dylan) yesterday. Then, I wrapped Dylan's other presents, the (censored for Dylan). I know he got me two sets of really awesome tickets (the chamber orchestra and Wicked), and a surprise trip to NYC for the shebang, but I think he'll like the presents I got for him as well.
After that, I settled down with a glass of wine and my computer, only to have Dylan call me a few minutes later to let me know he'd arrived. We went to Wawa and got the most wonderful $16 feast - two 10 inch subs (one Classic California with bacon, turkey, tomatoes, cucumbers, pepper jack and guacamole, the other a Buffalo Chicken Cheese Steak), a giant bag of salt and vinegar chips and chocolate milk for Dylan. We then went to the liquor store and picked out a really cute bottle of wine...I don't remember the name, but it came in a cylindrical bottle that was super adorable.
We headed back to my house, and ate and drank while watching New Girl. Then Dylan started to feel not so well, so we went to lie down on the bed, while watching The Office and 30 Rock. Afterwards, I got him some water, and snuggled him lots to help make him feel better, then suggested he sleep over at my house, so I could take care of him properly. After a couple disastrous school night sleepovers, where I didn't want to get out of bed for the life of me, last night went pretty darn well. After I set Dylan up with a big bottle of water, we both snuggled into bed, and turned out the big light. He watched anime cartoons and I read Catching Fire, the second book in the Hunger Games series, that I'm JUST LOVING. We laid like that for 45 minutes or an hour, then shut down and turned off the lights. He told me he was feeling better, which made me happy, and we were asleep not too long after.
Before I knew it, I was rousing and it was light out and then my alarm went off. I still snoozed a couple times, for sure, since it was so nice to be in bed with him. But when 6:30 came, I was up and at 'em. Within 20 minutes, I had done my hair and makeup, eaten breakfast and checked the weather. I came to kiss him and see if he wanted to get up with me to drive me to the train and go home or stay sleeping. He said he'd like to sleep more, and it really was the sweetest thing for me to tuck him in and kiss him goodbye, after I'd dressed and packed. I made it to the train in plenty of time, breaking into a wide grin as I walked now and then, remembering my sweet boyfriend back at my house, keeping my bed toasty warm. How I wish I could go back there now and surprise him with a hug and kiss. But alas, I'm responsible.
I've made it almost to the end of this entry, and only talked about the happy things in life so far. I guess that's ok. The things I was anxious about this morning included that my train pass hasn't come for next month yet (but I looked it up and found out that it just got mailed on Tuesday - it's Thursday today), and that I ran my credit card up almost as much as I paid it down last paycheck ($400), and after my rent check and my bachelorette party check this pay period, I only have another $400 to put towards credit card, Dylan's birthday meals and movie (easily $150), plus dinner and breakfast with Josh and Kristi and anything I'll need to buy in Chicago. The kicker is I only get paid one more time between then and the next trip to Chicago, when I'll get paid on Friday the 25th, while I'm in Chi-town. I guess I'll just have to pace myself as much as possible, maybe put $250 towards my card this time, and see if I can be frugal in Chicago this weekend. Maybe Dylan can pay for the movies next week or chip in for Iron Hill.
Other miscellaneous things making me anxious: checking in for my flights this weekend, getting through the airport alright, packing my bag sufficiently, getting to the airport with enough time, getting the letters out to my dad before this weekend, keeping my house clean when everything's been so busy and I have guests coming tomorrow night, getting Dylan's mom's jacket back to her in good condition, reading all the millions of magazines I have, losing weight...and OH- the dress I gave to the cleaners to have their tailor look at on Saturday morning, that I STILL haven't heard back about yet. I have no idea when they will get back to me, if they'll be able to do anything with it, and if, thank heavens, they are, what it will cost. BIG SIGH. I need to calm down. I will drink my iced coffee, listen to my jazz, and focus on how happy I was to see Dylan this morning, how lucky I am to have an awesome job to come to everyday, and how nice I feel in my silky blue dress and pearls.
Last night, I came home around 6 and talked to my brother for about a half hour. We don't talk on the phone very often, but last night I questioned why that is. It's not that we don't get along. I could talk to him for hours! We just don't find occasion to call each other that often. I must make a mental note to call him more often.
While on the phone with Josh, I made baggies of the (censored for Dylan) I got Dylan for his birthday. Josh had an idea to draw pictures of the (censored for Dylan) on the bag, but make them looks like Dylan. I did ones in four different colors on four sandwich ziploc bags, and put glasses on all of them to make them look like Dylan! I think he'll appreciate the little extra touch there.
I sent a picture of the baggies to Josh after we got off of the phone and one to Alex since she was with me when I bought the (censored for Dylan) yesterday. Then, I wrapped Dylan's other presents, the (censored for Dylan). I know he got me two sets of really awesome tickets (the chamber orchestra and Wicked), and a surprise trip to NYC for the shebang, but I think he'll like the presents I got for him as well.
After that, I settled down with a glass of wine and my computer, only to have Dylan call me a few minutes later to let me know he'd arrived. We went to Wawa and got the most wonderful $16 feast - two 10 inch subs (one Classic California with bacon, turkey, tomatoes, cucumbers, pepper jack and guacamole, the other a Buffalo Chicken Cheese Steak), a giant bag of salt and vinegar chips and chocolate milk for Dylan. We then went to the liquor store and picked out a really cute bottle of wine...I don't remember the name, but it came in a cylindrical bottle that was super adorable.
We headed back to my house, and ate and drank while watching New Girl. Then Dylan started to feel not so well, so we went to lie down on the bed, while watching The Office and 30 Rock. Afterwards, I got him some water, and snuggled him lots to help make him feel better, then suggested he sleep over at my house, so I could take care of him properly. After a couple disastrous school night sleepovers, where I didn't want to get out of bed for the life of me, last night went pretty darn well. After I set Dylan up with a big bottle of water, we both snuggled into bed, and turned out the big light. He watched anime cartoons and I read Catching Fire, the second book in the Hunger Games series, that I'm JUST LOVING. We laid like that for 45 minutes or an hour, then shut down and turned off the lights. He told me he was feeling better, which made me happy, and we were asleep not too long after.
Before I knew it, I was rousing and it was light out and then my alarm went off. I still snoozed a couple times, for sure, since it was so nice to be in bed with him. But when 6:30 came, I was up and at 'em. Within 20 minutes, I had done my hair and makeup, eaten breakfast and checked the weather. I came to kiss him and see if he wanted to get up with me to drive me to the train and go home or stay sleeping. He said he'd like to sleep more, and it really was the sweetest thing for me to tuck him in and kiss him goodbye, after I'd dressed and packed. I made it to the train in plenty of time, breaking into a wide grin as I walked now and then, remembering my sweet boyfriend back at my house, keeping my bed toasty warm. How I wish I could go back there now and surprise him with a hug and kiss. But alas, I'm responsible.
I've made it almost to the end of this entry, and only talked about the happy things in life so far. I guess that's ok. The things I was anxious about this morning included that my train pass hasn't come for next month yet (but I looked it up and found out that it just got mailed on Tuesday - it's Thursday today), and that I ran my credit card up almost as much as I paid it down last paycheck ($400), and after my rent check and my bachelorette party check this pay period, I only have another $400 to put towards credit card, Dylan's birthday meals and movie (easily $150), plus dinner and breakfast with Josh and Kristi and anything I'll need to buy in Chicago. The kicker is I only get paid one more time between then and the next trip to Chicago, when I'll get paid on Friday the 25th, while I'm in Chi-town. I guess I'll just have to pace myself as much as possible, maybe put $250 towards my card this time, and see if I can be frugal in Chicago this weekend. Maybe Dylan can pay for the movies next week or chip in for Iron Hill.
Other miscellaneous things making me anxious: checking in for my flights this weekend, getting through the airport alright, packing my bag sufficiently, getting to the airport with enough time, getting the letters out to my dad before this weekend, keeping my house clean when everything's been so busy and I have guests coming tomorrow night, getting Dylan's mom's jacket back to her in good condition, reading all the millions of magazines I have, losing weight...and OH- the dress I gave to the cleaners to have their tailor look at on Saturday morning, that I STILL haven't heard back about yet. I have no idea when they will get back to me, if they'll be able to do anything with it, and if, thank heavens, they are, what it will cost. BIG SIGH. I need to calm down. I will drink my iced coffee, listen to my jazz, and focus on how happy I was to see Dylan this morning, how lucky I am to have an awesome job to come to everyday, and how nice I feel in my silky blue dress and pearls.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Photoshoot Phun - Pics to Phollow
Good afternoon, Sunday! And yes, I just got up :) I went to bed last night at around 2AM, and Dylan got up at 10 to start homework. I was pretty sure I could get up when he did and start reading or doing my 750 words, or whatever it is I wanted to do, but then I thought, "Hey, it's Sunday! Why not go back to sleep?" AND I DID. Until about 20 minutes ago at noon. I'd definitely say that sleeping in is one of my greatest luxuries on this planet. That, and eating really good food. And, you know, being in love. That feels like a luxury sometimes.
But the sleep was nice. After waking up so early yesterday, drinking a cafe mocha with four shots of espresso and then drinking a Worx energy drink before meeting up with Jess and Marie, I was kind of strung out. Then, we had our photo shoot and ended up out at dinner until after ten o'clock! Then, Dylan and I came back and took a look at his database and then watched television until after midnight and THEN I read and he watched TV until even later. It was a long, long day. But a great day.
The photoshoot was a lot of fun! I was a little nervous about it. I was worried I wouldn't look good in the outfit I was given to wear. I was worried that the woman we were going to see wouldn't be good at doing hair or makeup. I was worried a little bit about all these things. But all my fears were put aside. We first got there without Marie, and Jess and I went up to check out the wardrobe room. Jacqui picked out a pink checkered corset with boning for me, along with a leopard print pencil skirt. I wasn't sure about the patterns going together, but she said she loved mixing and matching, so I was ready to be on board.
After we picked out our clothes, we went down to her hair dressing room and we started hair and make up. I was first! She started on my hair first, curling and hair spraying section after section until I had what Jess and I have dubbed "doll hair." Then she started on my makeup. Between the soft browns she used, the lovely blush, the thick liquid black liner and the fake eyelashes, I said I looked like a Disney princess! Jess said I had doe eyes! I looked so adorable, I must admit!
Marie arrived while I was getting my hair done, and I have to say (we discussed this at the Olive Garden later that night) that my favorite part of the day was just sitting in the hair dressing room and talking and talking with each other, and with Jacqui, about anything and everything. It was just great to be hanging out for a few hours, chatting, with no where to go and nothing to do except get pretty looking. Such a joy. It really made me remember how fun it is to hang out with Marie and Jess and I had such a good time!
Jess got her hair and makeup done next, and then it was Marie's turn. We all got dressed, as we were going, finishing with Marie putting on her adorable teddy and heels. I was laced super tightly into my corset. I felt like I didn't look any smaller than usual, but it did really, really define my waist big time, which was kind of cool. I thought the pencil skirt was really flattering on me too, and although I originally wanted to show more leg, I was really happy with how the outfit turned out. And of course, I loved how I looked in the heels, even though I hardly ever wear them out!
Then, we proceeded to the studio to get our pictures taken after hours of getting ready! Marie put on some music with her iphone and speakers (Marie, who also had provided the vodka cranberry and alcoholic whipped cream), and we got to work! I went first. Jacqui had me posing on a stool, down on the floor on my knees, laying down, and sitting with my back to her, turning my head back. She was really helpful about coaching me on how to look and what to do! After I was done posing, she had Jess and Marie get in the shots with me, so I could get changed after. I can't wait to see the pictures when they're done- of me, of them, of all of us! I'm so excited!
It was such a great experience, and a fun thing to do with just the girls. I'll definitely blog some of the photos when I get them. Yay!
But the sleep was nice. After waking up so early yesterday, drinking a cafe mocha with four shots of espresso and then drinking a Worx energy drink before meeting up with Jess and Marie, I was kind of strung out. Then, we had our photo shoot and ended up out at dinner until after ten o'clock! Then, Dylan and I came back and took a look at his database and then watched television until after midnight and THEN I read and he watched TV until even later. It was a long, long day. But a great day.
The photoshoot was a lot of fun! I was a little nervous about it. I was worried I wouldn't look good in the outfit I was given to wear. I was worried that the woman we were going to see wouldn't be good at doing hair or makeup. I was worried a little bit about all these things. But all my fears were put aside. We first got there without Marie, and Jess and I went up to check out the wardrobe room. Jacqui picked out a pink checkered corset with boning for me, along with a leopard print pencil skirt. I wasn't sure about the patterns going together, but she said she loved mixing and matching, so I was ready to be on board.
After we picked out our clothes, we went down to her hair dressing room and we started hair and make up. I was first! She started on my hair first, curling and hair spraying section after section until I had what Jess and I have dubbed "doll hair." Then she started on my makeup. Between the soft browns she used, the lovely blush, the thick liquid black liner and the fake eyelashes, I said I looked like a Disney princess! Jess said I had doe eyes! I looked so adorable, I must admit!
Marie arrived while I was getting my hair done, and I have to say (we discussed this at the Olive Garden later that night) that my favorite part of the day was just sitting in the hair dressing room and talking and talking with each other, and with Jacqui, about anything and everything. It was just great to be hanging out for a few hours, chatting, with no where to go and nothing to do except get pretty looking. Such a joy. It really made me remember how fun it is to hang out with Marie and Jess and I had such a good time!
Jess got her hair and makeup done next, and then it was Marie's turn. We all got dressed, as we were going, finishing with Marie putting on her adorable teddy and heels. I was laced super tightly into my corset. I felt like I didn't look any smaller than usual, but it did really, really define my waist big time, which was kind of cool. I thought the pencil skirt was really flattering on me too, and although I originally wanted to show more leg, I was really happy with how the outfit turned out. And of course, I loved how I looked in the heels, even though I hardly ever wear them out!
Then, we proceeded to the studio to get our pictures taken after hours of getting ready! Marie put on some music with her iphone and speakers (Marie, who also had provided the vodka cranberry and alcoholic whipped cream), and we got to work! I went first. Jacqui had me posing on a stool, down on the floor on my knees, laying down, and sitting with my back to her, turning my head back. She was really helpful about coaching me on how to look and what to do! After I was done posing, she had Jess and Marie get in the shots with me, so I could get changed after. I can't wait to see the pictures when they're done- of me, of them, of all of us! I'm so excited!
It was such a great experience, and a fun thing to do with just the girls. I'll definitely blog some of the photos when I get them. Yay!
Friday, April 20, 2012
Is it OK to be Lazy?
I usually have to have had a very rough day, or be very tired to not do much when I get home. If I don't have plans after to work to meet someone for dinner, drinks, or the like, I'll usually have a bunch of things planned to do after work. I find that if I launch into tasks directly after getting home, then I get them done. I just can't stop moving. Occasionally, I'm able to relax for a little while, then start doing what I need to do, but for the most part, I need to GO GO GO, or I'm at a loss for the evening.
Such as last night. I came home, and while wearing a sweater seemed like a sound choice at 7AM when it was only 50 degrees out, it was a little hot walking home from the grocery store at 6PM when it was 75 degrees out. By the time I arrived home, I was sweaty and a little tired. All I wanted to do was bask in the air conditioning and watch some television. And that I did. But I didn't feel good about myself. Not that I was actually angry at myself, but I just felt...normal, I guess? I bet a lot of people come home at night and watch television and eat carbs and dessert. And I guess I was kind of ahead of the game. I went grocery shopping! I cleaned the cat littler. I did my dishes after dinner. I wasn't a complete waste of space. But I didn't accomplish all the adult tasks that I feel keep me on track to being responsible and having a clean apartment and making myself feel complete.
I guess it's because I don't have a lot of time on the weekends to do chores and tasks around my house. I am sure it'll be different when Dylan and I live together, and we can be in one house, with him doing homework and me doing housework. I hope that it doesn't create problems, but it seems like it will actually solve a lot of problems. And make me really, really happy. But I think because now our weekends are so fun and joyful and consist of us entertaining ourselves in various ways, we don't focus a lot of our weekend time on getting stuff done, which we might want to start doing as we get older. Maybe when that day comes, I'll feel less bad about being lazy on weeknights, because I'll feel like there will be time to do all those "adult" things I need to do coming soon.
Week 16
This week started out rough. SO FUN, but rough fitness-wise. Though I never really felt like I overate, I was never STUFFED, this past weekend, I definitely packed in a ton of calories between the giant frozen margaritas, the yummy dinners and the amazing desserts everyday. And I had about 4 meals on my birthday (Tuesday). This was interspersed with a couple of walks over the weekend and three workouts during the week. But I have fluctuated YET AGAIN. Argh.
The good news is that I had my fitness evaluation. I'm stronger and more flexible than I was last month! And overall for the month, I am down 2 pounds.
No giant meals out this weekend. Home cooking tonight, Wawa tomorrow night, and hopefully a healthy day on Sunday. I'd like to start out the week feeling good!
Wish me luck, and happy weekend!
Weight- 211.2lbs
30 Min. Run- 2.68 (down from last week. I ran at 5.4, but had to walk for a couple minutes in between. 5.4 again next week, it is!)
Pounds from goal- 27.2lbs
The good news is that I had my fitness evaluation. I'm stronger and more flexible than I was last month! And overall for the month, I am down 2 pounds.
No giant meals out this weekend. Home cooking tonight, Wawa tomorrow night, and hopefully a healthy day on Sunday. I'd like to start out the week feeling good!
Wish me luck, and happy weekend!
Weight- 211.2lbs
30 Min. Run- 2.68 (down from last week. I ran at 5.4, but had to walk for a couple minutes in between. 5.4 again next week, it is!)
Pounds from goal- 27.2lbs
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Birthday Ramblins Part Trois
Note: This was preceded in my 750words.com entry with a yelp review for Mad Mex...just to provide a bit of context for the start of my first sentence. Here we go.
Now that THAT'S out of the way I can gush about my awesome boyfriend who surprised me not once, not twice, not even three, but FOUR TIMES on my birthday this year. With big surprises too! The first was when we went to the symphony on Sunday, which I knew about, but the surprise was instead of buying the $24 second balcony tickets I had sent him the link to...he bought third row seats! Not only had I never been to a professional classical music performance since I'd moved to Philly (I think I'd been to the opera when I lived in London), but I'd never been this close to pretty much anything before except maybe community theater! I was stunned and in awe. The cellist that played was extremely talented, and the sound of the group as a whole was phenomenal.
The second surprise came on my actual birthday, yesterday. Dylan had come over Monday night. I cooked us a big healthy dinner, and we went out for a nice evening walk. We came back with ice cream and watched TV for a while, ending up on youtube at 1AM, like the youthful misfits we really are inside. We finally fell asleep, and I got to sleep in because I had yesterday off from work. I got up a little after 9 to begin checking email, and we laid in bed for a while talking about what to eat for breakfast. I decided I really had a craving for Chinese food, so we found a good place and made a plan to go at noon. I worked for a bit while Dylan watched TV and then we headed to lunch. It was a great little place, which reminds me, I have to review it!
HUNAN
Casellula
I'll remember now!
Anyhow, after lunch, we came back to my place to drop off our leftovers before heading to Longwood Gardens, the plan we had made a month prior when I'd gotten the day off from work. But Dylan had other plans. In the birthday card he gave me, it said "Get on your comfy shoes. We're going to NY!" He basically whisked me away in the middle of a beautiful sunny Tuesday on the greyhound bus he'd gotten tickets for to Manhattan! It was a huge surprise! He wouldn't tell me where we were going, or what we were doing though. A slight diversion of the bus getting caught in traffic was a brief hiccup to the day, but we ended up skidding into the afore-mentioned Casellula at about 6:30 and who was there, but Anya and Jeff! They were Dylan's first surprise. The second surprise came during our whirlwind dinner of assorted cheeses, accompaniments, meats, breads, and mac n' cheese, and the giant glass of wine I somehow downed in 3 minutes after sipping slowly on it for 15. The second birthday card he gave me had a monkey dressed as a fairy on it, and said since I had been so good this year, the good witch Galinda had asked him to give me what was inside: two tickets to Wicked! The show I had told him was my favorite, that he said he didn't like, that I got mad at him for disliking, that he said he'd never see with me! We'd had this conversation MONTHS ago, and not only had he remembered that I loved it, but he arranged to surprise me on my birthday, LAST NIGHT, with tickets to see it! We had to leave Anya and Jeff quickly, and barely got to eat our dinner, but we made it to the show with a few minutes to spare, and it was INCREDIBLE. I cried during Defying Gravity. We gave them a standing ovation at the end. Such an amazing time.
And I got to live the whole birthday, the whole birthday season this year, with an amazing man by my side who helped make it all happen, and orchestrated some of the best parts of it all. To say I feel lucky is an understatement. I am blessed to have him. And now it's time more than ever to brainstorm how I can make his birthday just as great. So far, I have the DVDs for the first two seasons of Modern Family, the peanut and pretzel M&Ms combination, and a plan to take him to Chima or Fogo de Chau on his birthday, which we both have off! Let's see what other excitement I can come up with!
Now that THAT'S out of the way I can gush about my awesome boyfriend who surprised me not once, not twice, not even three, but FOUR TIMES on my birthday this year. With big surprises too! The first was when we went to the symphony on Sunday, which I knew about, but the surprise was instead of buying the $24 second balcony tickets I had sent him the link to...he bought third row seats! Not only had I never been to a professional classical music performance since I'd moved to Philly (I think I'd been to the opera when I lived in London), but I'd never been this close to pretty much anything before except maybe community theater! I was stunned and in awe. The cellist that played was extremely talented, and the sound of the group as a whole was phenomenal.
The second surprise came on my actual birthday, yesterday. Dylan had come over Monday night. I cooked us a big healthy dinner, and we went out for a nice evening walk. We came back with ice cream and watched TV for a while, ending up on youtube at 1AM, like the youthful misfits we really are inside. We finally fell asleep, and I got to sleep in because I had yesterday off from work. I got up a little after 9 to begin checking email, and we laid in bed for a while talking about what to eat for breakfast. I decided I really had a craving for Chinese food, so we found a good place and made a plan to go at noon. I worked for a bit while Dylan watched TV and then we headed to lunch. It was a great little place, which reminds me, I have to review it!
HUNAN
Casellula
I'll remember now!
Anyhow, after lunch, we came back to my place to drop off our leftovers before heading to Longwood Gardens, the plan we had made a month prior when I'd gotten the day off from work. But Dylan had other plans. In the birthday card he gave me, it said "Get on your comfy shoes. We're going to NY!" He basically whisked me away in the middle of a beautiful sunny Tuesday on the greyhound bus he'd gotten tickets for to Manhattan! It was a huge surprise! He wouldn't tell me where we were going, or what we were doing though. A slight diversion of the bus getting caught in traffic was a brief hiccup to the day, but we ended up skidding into the afore-mentioned Casellula at about 6:30 and who was there, but Anya and Jeff! They were Dylan's first surprise. The second surprise came during our whirlwind dinner of assorted cheeses, accompaniments, meats, breads, and mac n' cheese, and the giant glass of wine I somehow downed in 3 minutes after sipping slowly on it for 15. The second birthday card he gave me had a monkey dressed as a fairy on it, and said since I had been so good this year, the good witch Galinda had asked him to give me what was inside: two tickets to Wicked! The show I had told him was my favorite, that he said he didn't like, that I got mad at him for disliking, that he said he'd never see with me! We'd had this conversation MONTHS ago, and not only had he remembered that I loved it, but he arranged to surprise me on my birthday, LAST NIGHT, with tickets to see it! We had to leave Anya and Jeff quickly, and barely got to eat our dinner, but we made it to the show with a few minutes to spare, and it was INCREDIBLE. I cried during Defying Gravity. We gave them a standing ovation at the end. Such an amazing time.
And I got to live the whole birthday, the whole birthday season this year, with an amazing man by my side who helped make it all happen, and orchestrated some of the best parts of it all. To say I feel lucky is an understatement. I am blessed to have him. And now it's time more than ever to brainstorm how I can make his birthday just as great. So far, I have the DVDs for the first two seasons of Modern Family, the peanut and pretzel M&Ms combination, and a plan to take him to Chima or Fogo de Chau on his birthday, which we both have off! Let's see what other excitement I can come up with!
Monday, April 16, 2012
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Birthday Ramblins Part Deux
I'm on a streak! And it's Saturday! And I'm writing! And it's 7:33 in the morning, and I can't sleep anymore, because I'm excited for this day! And Dylan's sleeping next to me, and I think my typing, no matter how quiet I try to make it, is always too loud! People at work mock me by doing this crazy typing gesture- hands coming down on the keyboard from 2 feet in the air, very exaggerated and cartoon-esque. I love it, but it's also kind of embarrassing.
I had a dream last night that I met Clare Danes and we hung out and talked a bunch, she told me she's from Philly and that she actually LIVES here, and we had so much in common, and she was beautiful and cool, and she was trying to hint that she was dating my boss Rob. Weird twist, but I'll take it.
We had a really fun night last night at Distrito. Jess and David arrived on time, the Cubans were 25 and 45 minutes late (Marie and Janire/Liza, respectively). I drank tasty margaritas, and sampled some of Liza's tequila flight, Dylan got Coronas, Jess got some kind of fancy drink with a cherry in it- with a cherry stem she TIED IN HER MOUTH. I've "done that" before...but it was all a lie! I'd slip it out of my mouth and tie it under the table. I'm such a party trick cheater! I shouldn't be allowed to play party tricks. No more fake tricks for me. ANYHOW, last night was a lot of fun. I actually got PRESENTS from my friends (NEW DEVELOPMENT IN MY GROWN UP LIFE), and I got a candle in my Frios (flan, dulce de leche, coconut cake & mango - SO AMAZING).
The food was incredible. We ordered ceviche and chips w/ guacamole to start, and then Dylan ordered us a bunch of food: out of this world kobe beef tacos with the most delicate shoestring potatoes and truffle oil, a chicken tortilla soup, some kind of flatbread pizza with shortribs and radish on it, and this amazing fried plantain with cheese on it. Nothing I ate was short of awesome. I'm not holding out such high hopes for the Mexican today, but we certainly will have a smaller bill this afternoon. At least we better! And the $10 margaritas are going to be 22 oz. this time, so maybe I will only need 2 to get me feeling feisty.
I don't know what I'm going to do for the next hour and a half. I'm also wondering if I'm going to get hungry, and maybe I should eat a little something, something. Maybe a banana. I don't want to eat a true meal, though it would be tempting to cook up some onion and spinach omelets with that yummy cheese I have.
I can't believe so many people are meeting us for brunch today. I know not everyone's coming because it's my birthday, but this is all part of my birthday season and that makes it exciting. I hope we get to sit next to Alex and Michael, because they're really my bestestes of the group. A seat next to Larry Latore might be nothing to sneer at as well.
Something that bothered me at work the other day was in our status meeting, I brought up wanting to clear out the vendor list, which everyone was on board for, but I mentioned wanting to reach out to the contact whose address we had for the email order notifications. Nancy was like, "NO WAY," and proceeded to go into why doing that was opening a can of worms and not our responsibility. I think all aspects of site maintenance are our responsibility, and making sure that we have the right contact information for our vendors is important! I couldn't believe she was fighting me so much on this issue, and I even got a "we can talk about it later." Luckily, we ended up out for a drink that night, so I think all was saved.
Dylan's snoring. It's now 7:50 (not going to break my record typing time today!) I don't know if I want to spoon him, or get up and go to the kitchen to weigh myself and decide if I want breakfast. Is it weird that I base whether or not I eat on my weight on that faulty ass scale? I maybe need to take my scale out of the damn kitchen. I just want to be rocking for my weigh in next week!
Give me strength!
I had a dream last night that I met Clare Danes and we hung out and talked a bunch, she told me she's from Philly and that she actually LIVES here, and we had so much in common, and she was beautiful and cool, and she was trying to hint that she was dating my boss Rob. Weird twist, but I'll take it.
We had a really fun night last night at Distrito. Jess and David arrived on time, the Cubans were 25 and 45 minutes late (Marie and Janire/Liza, respectively). I drank tasty margaritas, and sampled some of Liza's tequila flight, Dylan got Coronas, Jess got some kind of fancy drink with a cherry in it- with a cherry stem she TIED IN HER MOUTH. I've "done that" before...but it was all a lie! I'd slip it out of my mouth and tie it under the table. I'm such a party trick cheater! I shouldn't be allowed to play party tricks. No more fake tricks for me. ANYHOW, last night was a lot of fun. I actually got PRESENTS from my friends (NEW DEVELOPMENT IN MY GROWN UP LIFE), and I got a candle in my Frios (flan, dulce de leche, coconut cake & mango - SO AMAZING).
The food was incredible. We ordered ceviche and chips w/ guacamole to start, and then Dylan ordered us a bunch of food: out of this world kobe beef tacos with the most delicate shoestring potatoes and truffle oil, a chicken tortilla soup, some kind of flatbread pizza with shortribs and radish on it, and this amazing fried plantain with cheese on it. Nothing I ate was short of awesome. I'm not holding out such high hopes for the Mexican today, but we certainly will have a smaller bill this afternoon. At least we better! And the $10 margaritas are going to be 22 oz. this time, so maybe I will only need 2 to get me feeling feisty.
I don't know what I'm going to do for the next hour and a half. I'm also wondering if I'm going to get hungry, and maybe I should eat a little something, something. Maybe a banana. I don't want to eat a true meal, though it would be tempting to cook up some onion and spinach omelets with that yummy cheese I have.
I can't believe so many people are meeting us for brunch today. I know not everyone's coming because it's my birthday, but this is all part of my birthday season and that makes it exciting. I hope we get to sit next to Alex and Michael, because they're really my bestestes of the group. A seat next to Larry Latore might be nothing to sneer at as well.
Something that bothered me at work the other day was in our status meeting, I brought up wanting to clear out the vendor list, which everyone was on board for, but I mentioned wanting to reach out to the contact whose address we had for the email order notifications. Nancy was like, "NO WAY," and proceeded to go into why doing that was opening a can of worms and not our responsibility. I think all aspects of site maintenance are our responsibility, and making sure that we have the right contact information for our vendors is important! I couldn't believe she was fighting me so much on this issue, and I even got a "we can talk about it later." Luckily, we ended up out for a drink that night, so I think all was saved.
Dylan's snoring. It's now 7:50 (not going to break my record typing time today!) I don't know if I want to spoon him, or get up and go to the kitchen to weigh myself and decide if I want breakfast. Is it weird that I base whether or not I eat on my weight on that faulty ass scale? I maybe need to take my scale out of the damn kitchen. I just want to be rocking for my weigh in next week!
Give me strength!
Friday, April 13, 2012
Birthday Ramblins
The below is just me being excited about life the past couple days, and for the next few days. It's not any sort of retrospective on birthdays in general. I'll try to work on that some time this weekend :)
I'm in a pretty great mood today. It's the start of birthday-pa-looza tonight! Dylan texted me before to ask if I was excited. I wasn't on Wednesday for some reason, but right now? Hell YEAH, I am! I'm also super excited for lunch, though, I don't know what it will be yet. Something with lots of veggies, that's for sure. I want to be hungry and raring to go at Distrito tonight. I wrote on here on Wednesday about how I was kind of out of sorts. Dylan came over, and he was kind of out of it, too. We sat, chatting for a while, then headed to dinner. Being with him makes me feel like everything in the world- all the problems, issues, big and small, are all going to work out. He's my panacea. And when being with him can't make me feel better, I know it's something I've got to work on because that means it's a big deal. Wednesday's funk wasn't such a big deal, and the making out and such definitely helped. Afterwards, we cuddled for a while, then Dylan offered to tuck me in to bed for the night. It was so sweet. I woke up early, ready and raring to go on Thursday and felt awesome.
I had a super productive morning at work yesterday. I got more done before 9AM than I did for much of the rest of the day. And that's OK sometimes! Now, today, we're already working on stuff for Monday. Yesterday, I also went for a great run. I'm up to 5.3 miles per hour for 30 minutes. I'm hoping to get up to 6.0 miles per hour. If all goes as planned, that will be in 7 weeks! I also got a new circuit from my trainer on Tuesday which I just tried out today on my own for the first time. It is really tough, especially on my legs and abs, though those bosu ball alternating arm pushups are KILLER. It feels a lot shorter than my circuit last month. I think I'm going to try to get this new circuit in at least two times a week, and then do last month's circuit once a week. I may even add in the first month's circuit once in a while, on weekends, like I have been. The first month's circuit is a plank, 60 squats, 60 situps, 30 pushups and 100 jumping jacks. It's so funny to think back on the fact that that circuit was once challenging. Now, it seems like cake.
Back to yesterday! I stayed at work until about 5:15, and then went to get a drink with Nancy and guess who was there! Brian Kempf! I was so excited to see him, and it was great to talk to him, if even for just the little time I was there. I ran to the train at 6, so I could make it home to clean. I did do some cleaning, but also made an awesome salad while I was on the phone with my mom, and worked on the blender book for Dylan. My salad was sauteed chicken sausage, ham and onions over a bed of fresh spinach and fresh carrots. It had a little hummus dressing on top, but I felt like I didn't even need the extras - nuts, cheese, olives. It was just perfect the way it was.
I think I'm making Dylan dinner on Monday night after my art class. I have onions, peppers, avocado...ooh! Maybe I'll make the cheeritos! We got the idea to make cheeseburger burritos and call them cheeritos. I think if I bought some wraps and some salsa...I have the ground beef, cheese, guacamole, avocado. Maybe I'll buy some sliced cheese as well. Ooh, maybe it would be good with some pickles! Or ketchup and mustard! Now we're thinking outside the box. I wonder what I could make to go with it. Maybe a salad. Always a salad. It would be really good with french fries, but I have a weigh in on Thursday to think about! Either way, I'll have to remember to take the ground beef out of the freezer in the next day or so. I think I have breadcrumbs, and I know have an egg to make the burger patties. Maybe I should get some kind of spice as well...The exciting thing is that after I make this dinner on Monday night, it becomes my actual birthday! And I have the whole day off. I'm going to sleep until 9, watch movies all morning, shower and get ready, have lunch, and then go to Longwood Gardens for the day!
What a rambley lovey pile of words! Yay life!
I'm in a pretty great mood today. It's the start of birthday-pa-looza tonight! Dylan texted me before to ask if I was excited. I wasn't on Wednesday for some reason, but right now? Hell YEAH, I am! I'm also super excited for lunch, though, I don't know what it will be yet. Something with lots of veggies, that's for sure. I want to be hungry and raring to go at Distrito tonight. I wrote on here on Wednesday about how I was kind of out of sorts. Dylan came over, and he was kind of out of it, too. We sat, chatting for a while, then headed to dinner. Being with him makes me feel like everything in the world- all the problems, issues, big and small, are all going to work out. He's my panacea. And when being with him can't make me feel better, I know it's something I've got to work on because that means it's a big deal. Wednesday's funk wasn't such a big deal, and the making out and such definitely helped. Afterwards, we cuddled for a while, then Dylan offered to tuck me in to bed for the night. It was so sweet. I woke up early, ready and raring to go on Thursday and felt awesome.
I had a super productive morning at work yesterday. I got more done before 9AM than I did for much of the rest of the day. And that's OK sometimes! Now, today, we're already working on stuff for Monday. Yesterday, I also went for a great run. I'm up to 5.3 miles per hour for 30 minutes. I'm hoping to get up to 6.0 miles per hour. If all goes as planned, that will be in 7 weeks! I also got a new circuit from my trainer on Tuesday which I just tried out today on my own for the first time. It is really tough, especially on my legs and abs, though those bosu ball alternating arm pushups are KILLER. It feels a lot shorter than my circuit last month. I think I'm going to try to get this new circuit in at least two times a week, and then do last month's circuit once a week. I may even add in the first month's circuit once in a while, on weekends, like I have been. The first month's circuit is a plank, 60 squats, 60 situps, 30 pushups and 100 jumping jacks. It's so funny to think back on the fact that that circuit was once challenging. Now, it seems like cake.
Back to yesterday! I stayed at work until about 5:15, and then went to get a drink with Nancy and guess who was there! Brian Kempf! I was so excited to see him, and it was great to talk to him, if even for just the little time I was there. I ran to the train at 6, so I could make it home to clean. I did do some cleaning, but also made an awesome salad while I was on the phone with my mom, and worked on the blender book for Dylan. My salad was sauteed chicken sausage, ham and onions over a bed of fresh spinach and fresh carrots. It had a little hummus dressing on top, but I felt like I didn't even need the extras - nuts, cheese, olives. It was just perfect the way it was.
I think I'm making Dylan dinner on Monday night after my art class. I have onions, peppers, avocado...ooh! Maybe I'll make the cheeritos! We got the idea to make cheeseburger burritos and call them cheeritos. I think if I bought some wraps and some salsa...I have the ground beef, cheese, guacamole, avocado. Maybe I'll buy some sliced cheese as well. Ooh, maybe it would be good with some pickles! Or ketchup and mustard! Now we're thinking outside the box. I wonder what I could make to go with it. Maybe a salad. Always a salad. It would be really good with french fries, but I have a weigh in on Thursday to think about! Either way, I'll have to remember to take the ground beef out of the freezer in the next day or so. I think I have breadcrumbs, and I know have an egg to make the burger patties. Maybe I should get some kind of spice as well...The exciting thing is that after I make this dinner on Monday night, it becomes my actual birthday! And I have the whole day off. I'm going to sleep until 9, watch movies all morning, shower and get ready, have lunch, and then go to Longwood Gardens for the day!
What a rambley lovey pile of words! Yay life!
Week 15
I can't believe I started this challenge 15 weeks ago. And I can't believe I've only lost 7 pounds since the start of the year. Sadly, I am only one pound away from where I was on week 3 because I've been fluctuating so much. BUT! I can run .5 miles further in a 30 minute time period - up from 2.2! And I have biceps now. That's a real accomplishment. With all of the Easter eating, I was a little scared about what the scale would say this week. On the flip side, I thought I had a really focused and healthy week, so I was a teeny bit bummed to see I had gone up .6 pounds since last week.
This weekend is my birthday celebrations! Mexican food x 2 + beef Wellington on Sunday. I am going to do my best to drink in moderation, exercise portion control for eating and make good food choices (less guacamole, more salsa!)
I have my next fitness evaluation next Thursday, so I'm hoping I will be down from the 213.6 I was last time. DON'T GAIN THREE POUNDS THIS WEEKEND. DON'T GAIN THREE POUNDS THIS WEEKEND. DON'T GAIN THREE POUNDS THIS WEEKEND.
Well, here I go! Have a good weekend everyone!
Weight- 210lbs
30 Min. Run- 2.71
Pounds from goal- 26lbs
This weekend is my birthday celebrations! Mexican food x 2 + beef Wellington on Sunday. I am going to do my best to drink in moderation, exercise portion control for eating and make good food choices (less guacamole, more salsa!)
I have my next fitness evaluation next Thursday, so I'm hoping I will be down from the 213.6 I was last time. DON'T GAIN THREE POUNDS THIS WEEKEND. DON'T GAIN THREE POUNDS THIS WEEKEND. DON'T GAIN THREE POUNDS THIS WEEKEND.
Well, here I go! Have a good weekend everyone!
Weight- 210lbs
30 Min. Run- 2.71
Pounds from goal- 26lbs
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
What Do I Love?
That was my question for today. Yesterday, I touched upon a couple of the things in this world that I like, but love goes much deeper than that. Do I love clouds? Do I love cooking? Probably! But when I think of things I love, my mind immediately goes to people. But is that answering the question? Wouldn't talking about all of the people I love be more of an answer to the question, "Who do I love?" I guess if I were to think in terms of "what" and not "who," I'd be able to come up with just a couple.
I love my body. I love making healthy decisions for my body. I love that I made the decision to start taking care of myself a few years back, and have dedicated myself to that as much as I can. I know I'm not perfect, and I know I sometimes eat dessert, and some days I don't feel like working out...and I just about NEVER work out on the weekends, but what's important is that I'm making good choices most of the time. I love my body for all it does. I know it has lots of quirks. My toe hurts in half the shoes I wear, I always seem to have a pimple on my chin, I can't seem to get my arms toned, but my body has come a long way from where it was. I love that I can run 3 miles now. I love that I can lift weights without quitting after 10 reps. I love that I use music to motivate myself when I run or circuit train. I love the feeling of getting my heart rate up, working hard, and really breaking a sweat. I love making good decisions when it comes to what I eat. I love choosing vegetables and proteins. I love that I can still eat carbs. I love that I DO still let myself eat dessert some times. I love that I can still eat French fries. I love that I've been on this journey for three years, and I am fitter now than I've been since I was 21. I love that I know so much more now about how to treat my body. I love that taking care of myself means making myself a priority. I love that I work somewhere that supports this. I love that the people in my life support me in this.
I love stars. The other night, I took a friend's daughter (1 1/2 years old) outside in the evening, and we looked up at the stars. There were a couple blinking lights from planes in the sky as well, and the whole vastness of it all really sank in. I love that looking at the stars can make me feel so small. At the same time, I love that stars show you that no matter how far away you are from something, you can still shine through and make an impact on it. I mostly love to gaze at stars. I love laying on the ground in the summer at night, and trying to find the constellations.
I love food. I love trying different kinds of food. This is so close to cooking, and kind of close to loving my body, and taking care of it. But I don't care. It must be said. I love food, and I love to eat. I love that in the past 10 years, I have added so many new cuisines to my repertoire. I love Indian food, Thai food, Japanese food, Ethiopian food, Middle Eastern food...and of course, Mexican, Italian, Chinese, Southern, and good old American standards. I love trying fresh foods. I love my organic produce delivery that keeps me eating fruit almost every day, and trying new veggies. I love everything about food, and damn is this making me hungry.
One more. I love Philadelphia. I have had such an incredible time building a life here, and find my decision to move here one of the best things I've ever done. I've never felt lacking in art or music. I've met amazing people. I've been able to branch out in terms of restaurants and plays and bars and stores. I love working in Philadelphia. I love being able to go the gym on my lunch break. I love being able to walk to dozens of restaurants from work. I love my local pub, and my daily free pint I won. I love the skyline. I love the commute into the city. I love it all.
I could go on...for ages. Maybe a "What do I love: Part II" post is in order for the future!
I love my body. I love making healthy decisions for my body. I love that I made the decision to start taking care of myself a few years back, and have dedicated myself to that as much as I can. I know I'm not perfect, and I know I sometimes eat dessert, and some days I don't feel like working out...and I just about NEVER work out on the weekends, but what's important is that I'm making good choices most of the time. I love my body for all it does. I know it has lots of quirks. My toe hurts in half the shoes I wear, I always seem to have a pimple on my chin, I can't seem to get my arms toned, but my body has come a long way from where it was. I love that I can run 3 miles now. I love that I can lift weights without quitting after 10 reps. I love that I use music to motivate myself when I run or circuit train. I love the feeling of getting my heart rate up, working hard, and really breaking a sweat. I love making good decisions when it comes to what I eat. I love choosing vegetables and proteins. I love that I can still eat carbs. I love that I DO still let myself eat dessert some times. I love that I can still eat French fries. I love that I've been on this journey for three years, and I am fitter now than I've been since I was 21. I love that I know so much more now about how to treat my body. I love that taking care of myself means making myself a priority. I love that I work somewhere that supports this. I love that the people in my life support me in this.
I love stars. The other night, I took a friend's daughter (1 1/2 years old) outside in the evening, and we looked up at the stars. There were a couple blinking lights from planes in the sky as well, and the whole vastness of it all really sank in. I love that looking at the stars can make me feel so small. At the same time, I love that stars show you that no matter how far away you are from something, you can still shine through and make an impact on it. I mostly love to gaze at stars. I love laying on the ground in the summer at night, and trying to find the constellations.
I love food. I love trying different kinds of food. This is so close to cooking, and kind of close to loving my body, and taking care of it. But I don't care. It must be said. I love food, and I love to eat. I love that in the past 10 years, I have added so many new cuisines to my repertoire. I love Indian food, Thai food, Japanese food, Ethiopian food, Middle Eastern food...and of course, Mexican, Italian, Chinese, Southern, and good old American standards. I love trying fresh foods. I love my organic produce delivery that keeps me eating fruit almost every day, and trying new veggies. I love everything about food, and damn is this making me hungry.
One more. I love Philadelphia. I have had such an incredible time building a life here, and find my decision to move here one of the best things I've ever done. I've never felt lacking in art or music. I've met amazing people. I've been able to branch out in terms of restaurants and plays and bars and stores. I love working in Philadelphia. I love being able to go the gym on my lunch break. I love being able to walk to dozens of restaurants from work. I love my local pub, and my daily free pint I won. I love the skyline. I love the commute into the city. I love it all.
I could go on...for ages. Maybe a "What do I love: Part II" post is in order for the future!
Monday, April 9, 2012
What Do I Like?
That is the question I've chosen to tackle today, from my list of questions I copied in on April 5th. I've noticed, before I dive in, that I have a hard time dedicating myself to writing on the weekends. When I'm at work, or at home on weeknights, I can easily dedicate myself to write for 10 or 15 minutes, but the weekend is a little tougher. I also know I have a tough time making time to exercise on the weekends, even if that just means doing some squats, sit ups and push ups. If I'm able to dedicate 30-45 minutes to myself on Saturday and Sunday, I can get in both a good amount of writing and a little exercise. I just need to figure out if that's going to be when Dylan is sleeping, showering, or when we're having TV time. When we're watching TV, we're usually watching something that I want to keep up with or I'm into, so I've got to take time away when he puts on something I'm not too involved in. Just something to think about if I want to one day finish a whole month of 750 words! What a goal!
Now, back to the question. I like a whole heck of a lot of things. And people. And places. I like to do a lot of things. I like to be busy. I like to fill my time with activity if I can. The question that comes up next is, "What do I love?" so I'll try hard here to stick to things that I like and not things I truly love. Distinguishing between like and love can be difficult. And sometimes, those things overlap. Dylan and I have told one another before, "I love you, but I also really like you." It seems to me that both of those things are important in a relationship.
I really like clouds. Clouds have always been something that has inspired me, and I want someday, to be able to paint a beautiful skyscape, maybe at sunset, maybe at mid-day, but capturing the billowy, pillowy, un-real, wispy aspects of clouds that sometimes photography can't even capture. Clouds to me are one of the most beautiful things we get to see in nature, and they happen almost every day, unlike things like flowers, snow or green trees and grass.
I like cooking. I like going shopping for the fresh ingredients. I like finding new things to cook with at the store- a new sauce or a particularly interesting vegetable. I like experimenting with creating things I've never made before. It's so amazing to me how just a few simple ingredients can produce amazing tastes that are all their own and unique. I like putting together meals from a few different things. I like coming up with sweet and tasty things to eat for dessert. I like making dishes healthy. I like getting all the food groups into one meal, and feeling like someday, I could do that everyday for my family. I cooked this past weekend, just an appetizer, for Dylan's family's Easter dinner. I made homemade bruschetta, which is relatively easy, but so very tasty, and got a ton of compliments on it. I wouldn't say I cook only for compliments, but cooking for others and having them appreciate what I've put time into, is something that I really like. I've liked cooking a lot more since I've been with Dylan, and I think it's because I have someone to eat the things I make!
I like art. I know that's a super broad statement, and art can be so many things, but it's really a very true statement for me. I like most aspects of creating art - painting, drawing, sketching, sculpture, pottery, photography, collage, mosaic, composition. I wish I had more time to put toward art in my life, because I think it really brings out a great side of me: a very thoughtful, graceful side that I don't always inhabit in other parts of my life. I also like to look at other people's art and think about it. I like going to museums. I like walking the halls, looking at paintings and sculptures and thinking about what the artist was feeling when he or she made the piece of art. I like that art makes me feel something and makes me think.
Well, it looks like it only took three things I really like to hit my word count for today. Tomorrow, I will try to write about what I love. And that might send me sky high into thousands of words if I don't watch out. I love a lot of things on this planet.
Now, back to the question. I like a whole heck of a lot of things. And people. And places. I like to do a lot of things. I like to be busy. I like to fill my time with activity if I can. The question that comes up next is, "What do I love?" so I'll try hard here to stick to things that I like and not things I truly love. Distinguishing between like and love can be difficult. And sometimes, those things overlap. Dylan and I have told one another before, "I love you, but I also really like you." It seems to me that both of those things are important in a relationship.
I really like clouds. Clouds have always been something that has inspired me, and I want someday, to be able to paint a beautiful skyscape, maybe at sunset, maybe at mid-day, but capturing the billowy, pillowy, un-real, wispy aspects of clouds that sometimes photography can't even capture. Clouds to me are one of the most beautiful things we get to see in nature, and they happen almost every day, unlike things like flowers, snow or green trees and grass.
I like cooking. I like going shopping for the fresh ingredients. I like finding new things to cook with at the store- a new sauce or a particularly interesting vegetable. I like experimenting with creating things I've never made before. It's so amazing to me how just a few simple ingredients can produce amazing tastes that are all their own and unique. I like putting together meals from a few different things. I like coming up with sweet and tasty things to eat for dessert. I like making dishes healthy. I like getting all the food groups into one meal, and feeling like someday, I could do that everyday for my family. I cooked this past weekend, just an appetizer, for Dylan's family's Easter dinner. I made homemade bruschetta, which is relatively easy, but so very tasty, and got a ton of compliments on it. I wouldn't say I cook only for compliments, but cooking for others and having them appreciate what I've put time into, is something that I really like. I've liked cooking a lot more since I've been with Dylan, and I think it's because I have someone to eat the things I make!
I like art. I know that's a super broad statement, and art can be so many things, but it's really a very true statement for me. I like most aspects of creating art - painting, drawing, sketching, sculpture, pottery, photography, collage, mosaic, composition. I wish I had more time to put toward art in my life, because I think it really brings out a great side of me: a very thoughtful, graceful side that I don't always inhabit in other parts of my life. I also like to look at other people's art and think about it. I like going to museums. I like walking the halls, looking at paintings and sculptures and thinking about what the artist was feeling when he or she made the piece of art. I like that art makes me feel something and makes me think.
Well, it looks like it only took three things I really like to hit my word count for today. Tomorrow, I will try to write about what I love. And that might send me sky high into thousands of words if I don't watch out. I love a lot of things on this planet.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Week 14
Well, I skipped working out on Tuesday and Wednesday, made it in for my circuit Monday and today, and my 30 minute run yesterday...but lo and behold, I've lost weight!
This week was a lot of fun, and included my first burrito in a couple of months AND a dinner out of French fries and chicken sandwich AND CHEESECAKE! I only ate a portion of each, so I don't think it did too much damage. I also ate only a little bit of pasta for dinner on Wednesday, and went to bed early, so I think that helped. I've been sticking to my healthy lunches, and not eating too many bagels or snacks on the side while at work. I also started taking fish oil this week! Hopefully that'll help in a lot of ways.
This upcoming weekend is going to be a challenge, but I'm going to try to take all of my hard work from this week and carry it over to the weekend. I have my third personal training appointment on Monday, and I want to feel great to start the week out. There's going to be 3 big dinners with Dylan's family, so I am summoning all my strength to use my portion control skillz and do my circuit both Saturday and Sunday.
I CAN DO THIS!
Happy weekend, and happy Easter!
Weight- 209.4lbs
30 Min. Run- 2.69
Pounds from goal- 26lbs
This week was a lot of fun, and included my first burrito in a couple of months AND a dinner out of French fries and chicken sandwich AND CHEESECAKE! I only ate a portion of each, so I don't think it did too much damage. I also ate only a little bit of pasta for dinner on Wednesday, and went to bed early, so I think that helped. I've been sticking to my healthy lunches, and not eating too many bagels or snacks on the side while at work. I also started taking fish oil this week! Hopefully that'll help in a lot of ways.
This upcoming weekend is going to be a challenge, but I'm going to try to take all of my hard work from this week and carry it over to the weekend. I have my third personal training appointment on Monday, and I want to feel great to start the week out. There's going to be 3 big dinners with Dylan's family, so I am summoning all my strength to use my portion control skillz and do my circuit both Saturday and Sunday.
I CAN DO THIS!
Happy weekend, and happy Easter!
Weight- 209.4lbs
30 Min. Run- 2.69
Pounds from goal- 26lbs
What Do I Think?
That's the questions I decided to tackle today.
I believe I tend to think about myself, like most people, but I also have an awareness of the people around me. I think about things that are going on in my life. I think about the people I care about. I think about money, how I'm going to save it, how I'm going to spend it, how I'm going to make it all work. I think about the things I need to get. I think about the things in my house I have to clean. I think about the food I've eaten today. I think about the food in my fridge, and what I will cook with it, and when. I think about work that I have to do. I think about how I will fill my days. I think about when I will work out. I think about when I'm going to see my friends or my family. I think about upcoming plans. I try to think through how things are going to work out on certain busy days. I try to think ahead to things I need to figure out.
I think a lot about building my future with Dylan, and what that will look like someday. I think about what our family will be like. I think about what our house will look like. I think about how in love we are now, and about how we're trying to foster that love every day to keep it alive and healthy.
I think a lot about things when I'm talking to other people. People can bring out deep thoughts in me, like how we're all connected, how we can better help the world, and how our society is both growing and changing all the time. I don't think about such big things on my own usually.
Reading makes me think too. I love reading novels and magazines, because they make me think in different ways. Magazines like Philadelphia make me think about the city I live in, and all of the things I don't know about it. And all of the restaurants I want to try! Magazines like Vogue or Vanity Fair make me think about people I'll never meet and places I might never go to. It makes me think about how my life would be different if I were more privileged or had been born into a different family. It makes me think about how I might be more driven or more creative or more successful if I had had a different upbringing, if I had been pushed more, encouraged more, or afforded more opportunity.
But I do think a lot about the opportunity I was afforded. I think about how lucky I am to have two parents who are still together that love me and each other and my brother so much, that they'd give us anything they can. I think about my parents a lot, and how much I love them and want them to be happy. I think that if I ever won the lottery how I'd buy them a new house and get one of those fancy professional organizers to go through all of their stuff and make it manageable. I think about all the trips we'd take as a family, and about how I'd make sure they lived out the rest of their lives as comfortable as they'd ever been.
I think about what I can do for them in the meantime, without winning the lottery. I think that if I'm able to show them through phone calls, cards, letters and visits that I care about them and want to be in their lives even though I'm far away, then they'll know how much I love them. I think that telling people you love them is one of the most important things. I think saying it to friends is important, even if you're drunk. I think that making sure people know that you care about them is imperative in having relationships.
I think that being with Dylan has taught me a lot about loving and living as someone's partner. I think about him a lot, and how I can make him happy. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about his birthday, and our anniversary, and how I can make them special for him. I think about all the birthdays and anniversaries to come, and I want them all to be special.
I think about so many things, many of them revolving around my life and the things I do, but I guess that's natural. I've always considered myself a thoughtful person, I try hard to be one now. And I hope I always will think, when making decisions, when letting ideas marinate, when reading, when riding the train, when making people happy, when doing work. I hope I never stop thinking hard about the world, but sometimes, it's good to let go a bit and not think so hard. I hope I can embrace that too!
I believe I tend to think about myself, like most people, but I also have an awareness of the people around me. I think about things that are going on in my life. I think about the people I care about. I think about money, how I'm going to save it, how I'm going to spend it, how I'm going to make it all work. I think about the things I need to get. I think about the things in my house I have to clean. I think about the food I've eaten today. I think about the food in my fridge, and what I will cook with it, and when. I think about work that I have to do. I think about how I will fill my days. I think about when I will work out. I think about when I'm going to see my friends or my family. I think about upcoming plans. I try to think through how things are going to work out on certain busy days. I try to think ahead to things I need to figure out.
I think a lot about building my future with Dylan, and what that will look like someday. I think about what our family will be like. I think about what our house will look like. I think about how in love we are now, and about how we're trying to foster that love every day to keep it alive and healthy.
I think a lot about things when I'm talking to other people. People can bring out deep thoughts in me, like how we're all connected, how we can better help the world, and how our society is both growing and changing all the time. I don't think about such big things on my own usually.
Reading makes me think too. I love reading novels and magazines, because they make me think in different ways. Magazines like Philadelphia make me think about the city I live in, and all of the things I don't know about it. And all of the restaurants I want to try! Magazines like Vogue or Vanity Fair make me think about people I'll never meet and places I might never go to. It makes me think about how my life would be different if I were more privileged or had been born into a different family. It makes me think about how I might be more driven or more creative or more successful if I had had a different upbringing, if I had been pushed more, encouraged more, or afforded more opportunity.
But I do think a lot about the opportunity I was afforded. I think about how lucky I am to have two parents who are still together that love me and each other and my brother so much, that they'd give us anything they can. I think about my parents a lot, and how much I love them and want them to be happy. I think that if I ever won the lottery how I'd buy them a new house and get one of those fancy professional organizers to go through all of their stuff and make it manageable. I think about all the trips we'd take as a family, and about how I'd make sure they lived out the rest of their lives as comfortable as they'd ever been.
I think about what I can do for them in the meantime, without winning the lottery. I think that if I'm able to show them through phone calls, cards, letters and visits that I care about them and want to be in their lives even though I'm far away, then they'll know how much I love them. I think that telling people you love them is one of the most important things. I think saying it to friends is important, even if you're drunk. I think that making sure people know that you care about them is imperative in having relationships.
I think that being with Dylan has taught me a lot about loving and living as someone's partner. I think about him a lot, and how I can make him happy. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about his birthday, and our anniversary, and how I can make them special for him. I think about all the birthdays and anniversaries to come, and I want them all to be special.
I think about so many things, many of them revolving around my life and the things I do, but I guess that's natural. I've always considered myself a thoughtful person, I try hard to be one now. And I hope I always will think, when making decisions, when letting ideas marinate, when reading, when riding the train, when making people happy, when doing work. I hope I never stop thinking hard about the world, but sometimes, it's good to let go a bit and not think so hard. I hope I can embrace that too!
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Good Day, Bad Day
I'm sitting at Comcast, waiting on some feedback before I can finish some work. And waiting another hour before I make my rounds with the marketing folks. Sometimes, I think my weekly meeting here doesn't really matter or accomplish anything, and other times, I feel like I really get a lot out of it. I think I hold onto the time slot and keep coming because I feel like it adds something to my job. It gives me a leg up over other people who aren't client facing. Yes, I communicate with clients on a daily basis over email, but I am truly client facing.
I'm also texting with Bob about our trip to Chicago. He's debating whether we should go with a spectacular room or a wonderful room, when apparently the only difference is the view. Personally, I don't care which way we face, along as the bed is comfortable.
The past couple days have been both fun and tough. Tuesday was fun. I wore a great outfit - red jeans, blousey flowered top, bangles, silver jacket, black sparkly flats. I ran errands with Alex at lunch, and got out of work a half hour early to pick up burritos and meet Dylan to go over to the Of Monsters and Men concert. We ate the burritos in the parking lot, in the sunshine of the late afternoon and then headed over to wait in line at the TLA. We waited and talked for over an hour, even made the reservation for my birthday dinner!
Finally, they let us in and we made our way to the very front next to the stage. I said, "We're here, but how are we going to get drinks?" So we decided to get the good "grown-up" seats/standing spots, up by the bar. We got a couple beers and hung out until the opening singer came on, a young woman whose band goes by the name of Lay Low. I found out, when she started singing a song that I know, that I actually have some of her music, but had no idea before the show she'd be opening! It was pretty cool.
When Of Monsters and Men came out, the energy was infectious. You could tell that Philadelphia really loves this band. The show was sold out, and people were going crazy for them. It was so inspiring. I really felt like we were a part of something. We danced and grooved along to the music, alternately standing and leaning on the rail in front of us. At the end of the show, we talked about how old we are, that standing for 3 or 4 hours is so tough and makes us so stiff. The encore was amazing, and I even got goosebumps when they played the first song we'd ever heard by them. It reminded me how much I love seeing live music. It made me really excited for the concert Dani and I are going to May 11 to see Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes.
After the show was over, we walked back to the car, and drove to Minella's, while listening to Of Monsters and Men and the muppet soundtrack! We ate an amazing late dinner, and talked and talked, and then Dylan said he was spending the night at my house. It made me so happy. We went home and basically fell into bed. I decided to give myself an extra hour, which turned into an extra 2.5 hours. I showered and got back into bed (BIG MISTAKE). I have such a hard time not snuggling with Dylan when he's in my bed. I have to get over that. Then, my train ending up getting suspended.
I didn't end up getting into work until almost 11AM. It totally threw off my whole day, and though I didn't feel useless or clammed up, I did feel really on edge, and like I needed to smoke. I had two cigarettes (two for the month means I'm only one away from the number I had in March), and went home without working out or going to art class. I was kind of disappointed in myself, especially since I told Jeff the other day how I hadn't had any dips in such a while.
I'm going to count yesterday as a fluke, and not worry about it happening again. I'm also going to work hard at getting up and getting into work on time, even if I am super tired. If I can't get my butt out of bed, it's best just to take the day. But today, I feel strong, together and awake. It's going to be a great day. I can feel it!
I'm also texting with Bob about our trip to Chicago. He's debating whether we should go with a spectacular room or a wonderful room, when apparently the only difference is the view. Personally, I don't care which way we face, along as the bed is comfortable.
The past couple days have been both fun and tough. Tuesday was fun. I wore a great outfit - red jeans, blousey flowered top, bangles, silver jacket, black sparkly flats. I ran errands with Alex at lunch, and got out of work a half hour early to pick up burritos and meet Dylan to go over to the Of Monsters and Men concert. We ate the burritos in the parking lot, in the sunshine of the late afternoon and then headed over to wait in line at the TLA. We waited and talked for over an hour, even made the reservation for my birthday dinner!
Finally, they let us in and we made our way to the very front next to the stage. I said, "We're here, but how are we going to get drinks?" So we decided to get the good "grown-up" seats/standing spots, up by the bar. We got a couple beers and hung out until the opening singer came on, a young woman whose band goes by the name of Lay Low. I found out, when she started singing a song that I know, that I actually have some of her music, but had no idea before the show she'd be opening! It was pretty cool.
When Of Monsters and Men came out, the energy was infectious. You could tell that Philadelphia really loves this band. The show was sold out, and people were going crazy for them. It was so inspiring. I really felt like we were a part of something. We danced and grooved along to the music, alternately standing and leaning on the rail in front of us. At the end of the show, we talked about how old we are, that standing for 3 or 4 hours is so tough and makes us so stiff. The encore was amazing, and I even got goosebumps when they played the first song we'd ever heard by them. It reminded me how much I love seeing live music. It made me really excited for the concert Dani and I are going to May 11 to see Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes.
After the show was over, we walked back to the car, and drove to Minella's, while listening to Of Monsters and Men and the muppet soundtrack! We ate an amazing late dinner, and talked and talked, and then Dylan said he was spending the night at my house. It made me so happy. We went home and basically fell into bed. I decided to give myself an extra hour, which turned into an extra 2.5 hours. I showered and got back into bed (BIG MISTAKE). I have such a hard time not snuggling with Dylan when he's in my bed. I have to get over that. Then, my train ending up getting suspended.
I didn't end up getting into work until almost 11AM. It totally threw off my whole day, and though I didn't feel useless or clammed up, I did feel really on edge, and like I needed to smoke. I had two cigarettes (two for the month means I'm only one away from the number I had in March), and went home without working out or going to art class. I was kind of disappointed in myself, especially since I told Jeff the other day how I hadn't had any dips in such a while.
I'm going to count yesterday as a fluke, and not worry about it happening again. I'm also going to work hard at getting up and getting into work on time, even if I am super tired. If I can't get my butt out of bed, it's best just to take the day. But today, I feel strong, together and awake. It's going to be a great day. I can feel it!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Growing - Brains & Relationships
I guess I'm not doing the April challenge after all. And I sure as hell won't be doing a May challenge! May is going to be twice as busy as April! As long as I'm writing once or twice a week, I think I'll be OK.
I'm writing way more now between 750 words, my weekly blog entries, and my Yelp reviews! I've also been playing Scrabble with Dylan and Words with Friends online. I'm about to start taking fish oil supplements for the ol' brain. I've been reading almost everyday on the train to and from work. PLUS, I've been working on new projects at work - ones where I actually create work. I'm writing at work! And - AND! - I started going to art class! It's a great feeling.
I feel like my brain hasn't been this active in quite some time. I think I'm really growing, which is great. For a while, being in a relationship was the main growth I experienced. I'm still growing and changing in my relationship with Dylan as well, but now I feel like I'm challenging myself a bit more intellectually. It's important to me to keep my brain active, and I'm now more than ever considering grad school.
The time constraint thing isn't as scary to me as the money. The loans that I would inevitably have to get to pay for grad school I'd probably be paying until I'm 50, the way things are going with the loans I have now! I'm excited for the day that Dylan and I are both bringing in money, and we can have a stash in the bank for emergencies and I can throw $1000 at my loans every month to help pay them down. It'll be a great day. But I think instead of worrying about money, I should arrange some college visits and meet with the admissions people to see what they have to say about my experience, what I'd need to bring to the table, and what they could offer me. I think taking this on could give me a great sense of accomplishment, and further help me manage my time and resources.
Plus, Dylan brought something up last night that irked me a little. He brought up a comment I had made, based actually, upon one of my previous 750 words entries - how I don't like to say goodbye to him at the end of the night, and how he always has something to return to, be it school or video games, and I don't. I didn't mean for it to sound like I don't have much to do. It was more that at the end of the night, I have to go to sleep, and he gets to go do SOMETHING. That he gets to stay up much later than me and work or play, I guess that's what I was pointing out.
Me being in school wouldn't change the fact that I need to go to bed at 11PM or so. It would just mean I'd be working on much more before that. I want Dylan to understand that my life is very full as it is. The people I love, the work I do, my house, my pets, my art, my entertainment, I feel like I am never bored and enjoy the things I do a great deal.
We had another topic come up last night when I asked him to spend the night tonight. He asked if we could wait until our planned weeknight sleepover for my birthday, which is two weeks away. Since he hasn't spent the night during the week in almost 2 months, I wondered why it was such a big deal to him to be with me twice in one month on weeknights. He said he'd much rather be in his own bed and be able to get ample sleep so he'd be fresh for school work the next day. When I countered that I'd drop most anything to be with him, he emphasized he'd do the same for me, except when it came to school. I guess I should be happy that that's the case, and I know if I really needed him, he'd be there. But the fact is, I'm not his top priority, and I think I may have made him mine, and that was a hard fact to swallow...
The driving issue also came up when we were talking about this; how, almost a year into being the one to always drive to see me or pick me up, he doesn't always feel like driving the 25 minutes to my house, but he does it anyway, because he wants to see me and always has a good time. It was kind of hard to hear that too, since I'm insecure about not having a car to come see him. I think I'm going to rent a car for his birthday, and do all of the driving that day. He brought up the driving issue when I made a comment about me working so hard in our relationship, and how he sometimes seems to want to do the easy or convenient thing. It's something that bugs me, but I don't want him to think I don't see all the hard work he puts into us.
I guess it goes back to that page I wrote in my book: "Instead of counting all the things he doesn't do, count all of the things he does do." I filled that page with reasons why I love him- all of the things he does for me. I love him very much, these relationships are just sometimes tough to take care of. You've got to be gentle, but also speak your mind, and always think of two people's feelings, instead of just your own. I think I'll get a hang of it someday. I hope so.
I'm writing way more now between 750 words, my weekly blog entries, and my Yelp reviews! I've also been playing Scrabble with Dylan and Words with Friends online. I'm about to start taking fish oil supplements for the ol' brain. I've been reading almost everyday on the train to and from work. PLUS, I've been working on new projects at work - ones where I actually create work. I'm writing at work! And - AND! - I started going to art class! It's a great feeling.
I feel like my brain hasn't been this active in quite some time. I think I'm really growing, which is great. For a while, being in a relationship was the main growth I experienced. I'm still growing and changing in my relationship with Dylan as well, but now I feel like I'm challenging myself a bit more intellectually. It's important to me to keep my brain active, and I'm now more than ever considering grad school.
The time constraint thing isn't as scary to me as the money. The loans that I would inevitably have to get to pay for grad school I'd probably be paying until I'm 50, the way things are going with the loans I have now! I'm excited for the day that Dylan and I are both bringing in money, and we can have a stash in the bank for emergencies and I can throw $1000 at my loans every month to help pay them down. It'll be a great day. But I think instead of worrying about money, I should arrange some college visits and meet with the admissions people to see what they have to say about my experience, what I'd need to bring to the table, and what they could offer me. I think taking this on could give me a great sense of accomplishment, and further help me manage my time and resources.
Plus, Dylan brought something up last night that irked me a little. He brought up a comment I had made, based actually, upon one of my previous 750 words entries - how I don't like to say goodbye to him at the end of the night, and how he always has something to return to, be it school or video games, and I don't. I didn't mean for it to sound like I don't have much to do. It was more that at the end of the night, I have to go to sleep, and he gets to go do SOMETHING. That he gets to stay up much later than me and work or play, I guess that's what I was pointing out.
Me being in school wouldn't change the fact that I need to go to bed at 11PM or so. It would just mean I'd be working on much more before that. I want Dylan to understand that my life is very full as it is. The people I love, the work I do, my house, my pets, my art, my entertainment, I feel like I am never bored and enjoy the things I do a great deal.
We had another topic come up last night when I asked him to spend the night tonight. He asked if we could wait until our planned weeknight sleepover for my birthday, which is two weeks away. Since he hasn't spent the night during the week in almost 2 months, I wondered why it was such a big deal to him to be with me twice in one month on weeknights. He said he'd much rather be in his own bed and be able to get ample sleep so he'd be fresh for school work the next day. When I countered that I'd drop most anything to be with him, he emphasized he'd do the same for me, except when it came to school. I guess I should be happy that that's the case, and I know if I really needed him, he'd be there. But the fact is, I'm not his top priority, and I think I may have made him mine, and that was a hard fact to swallow...
The driving issue also came up when we were talking about this; how, almost a year into being the one to always drive to see me or pick me up, he doesn't always feel like driving the 25 minutes to my house, but he does it anyway, because he wants to see me and always has a good time. It was kind of hard to hear that too, since I'm insecure about not having a car to come see him. I think I'm going to rent a car for his birthday, and do all of the driving that day. He brought up the driving issue when I made a comment about me working so hard in our relationship, and how he sometimes seems to want to do the easy or convenient thing. It's something that bugs me, but I don't want him to think I don't see all the hard work he puts into us.
I guess it goes back to that page I wrote in my book: "Instead of counting all the things he doesn't do, count all of the things he does do." I filled that page with reasons why I love him- all of the things he does for me. I love him very much, these relationships are just sometimes tough to take care of. You've got to be gentle, but also speak your mind, and always think of two people's feelings, instead of just your own. I think I'll get a hang of it someday. I hope so.
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